Vacation
by DedicatedToTwilight
Summary: In 4x10, when Dan and Serena ran away from the Ostroff Centre, what if they managed to run away, without Lily and Blair finding them?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: Mama, I'm Coming Home**

_ 'Hey, thank you for believing in me,' she said, her hand gripping the side of the counter. _

_ 'How could I not?' he asked her, not expecting an answer back. She smiled, understanding. (Gossip Girl, Season 4, Episode 10 'Gaslit') _

He grabbed her hand, holding it as tightly as he could. That was it. This was their time to be, his time to have her, and he knew that she wanted to have him too. He led her to the door and opened it, but she pulled him back.

'Wait, Dan...' she let go of his hand, and his heart skipped a beat. Was she having second thoughts about this? Why was she reconsidering? It killed her to do it; she saw that what she had just done affected him, and she didn't want to hurt him. But she needed to know. 'What will this mean, for us?' she asked, her eyes focusing on some random dent in the floor of the loft.

_Please let it mean something,_ they both thought, but none had the courage to say it. 'Well, Serena, it doesn't have to mean anything,' he responded, although every word cut his throat as it came out. He didn't mean that; he wanted it to mean something, but what if Serena didn't want the same thing? He saw her close her eyes, her shoulders rising as she sighed. _You're the one I came to kiss,_ she told him at the hospital, and he saw how wrong he had been. He was so utterly oblivious to the fact that the beautiful young woman he fell in love with at that party so many years ago, and whom he had loved ever since, was, after all the things that happened between them, in love with him again. So he took her hand in his, his thumb slowly caressing the back of it. 'Unless, you want it to mean something,' he finally said, and she looked up again, her eyes locking on his. 'Serena, I...'

But he couldn't finish, as he was interrupted by the voice of a woman at the bottom of the staircase to the loft. 'I'm sure they're up there,' she said. It was Lily. Serena froze for a moment, and then hid her face in her hands, defeated. But he had different plans.

'Hey, shh, come with me,' he whispered, and slowly shut the door of the loft, carefully, so it didn't make a sound as it closed. Even though he had always hated the countless flights of stairs that led to the loft, for the first time in his life, Dan couldn't be happier that they existed. It gave them time. 'Come, we'll take the emergency stairs outside my bedroom window,' he indicated, and pulled Serena by her hand again, in the direction of his room. He let her go first, watching her as she smoothly crawled through the frame, and then he followed. Before they managed to run, he heard Lily call Serena from the front door.

'We did it,' Serena sighed as she sat in the not so luxuriant seat of the bus. She felt relief; it felt good to just turn your back on all the mess, on everyone who caused you misery, and just be happy. And, even better, she had her man by her side. She rested her head on his shoulder, as she had many times before, and felt at home. It was so comfortable between them, that she didn't even realise when she took her hand in his, and interlocked their fingers together. She watched from the corner of her eye how he lifted their joined hands and brought them to his lips, kissing the tops of her fingers. The gesture was so simple, and yet it meant so much for her. The butterflies in her stomach agitated even more when he brought their hands on his lap, only to rest his head on top of hers. They sat like that, no worries, no discussions, just being with each other, as the bus carried them to their new beginning.

'Is there any available accommodation that we could possibly rent for...a week, or two?' Dan asked the tall man at the Hampstead Information Centre desk. 'This is a little seaside town in North Carolina; I mean, how busy can it be?'

'Well, sir, you'd be surprised by the number of visitors we've had this past month,' he informed him, as he typed something into his computer. 'Ah, we do have something. It's our only option for just two people, and within a tighter budget.' He looked Dan up and down. 'I can see you're travelling lightly,' he added suggestively. 'We can offer this small apartment in a block not too far away from here. It's a good neighbourhood, and it's also quite close to the beach. We can make you an offer of 45$ per night. What do you think?'

Dan looked at Serena, who just nodded. 'We'll take it,' he said.

'Excellent! How long will you rent it for?'

'Two weeks,' Dan decided.

'Three weeks,' Serena corrected.

'Are you sure?' Dan whispered, while the man, now slightly confused, amended the information.

'Yes.'

'There's only a double bed,' Serena announced as they examined their house for the following three weeks.

Although he wanted too, he realised it was too soon for them to share a bed. 'It's okay, I'll just sleep on the couch,' he muttered, avoiding her eyes.

She was avoiding his. She had to admit she was disappointed in his answer. She hoped they would share. Maybe it was too soon... 'Are you sure? We can take it in turns,' she offered, but he declined.

Later that evening, they walked together on the beach. They didn't speak; the only sound was the soft crash of the waves on the shore, and the faint noise of their feet sinking in the sand. They held hands as they walked, and it wasn't something they necessarily had to plan. It felt natural, as if it couldn't be any other way. Dan knew he was finally holding her again; she was the only girl he allowed to take his heart and do as she pleased with it. Every time she hurt him, every time she broke his heart, she would also be the one to mend it. He loved her, and he knew she loved him. And that was enough to carry him through all of the times when it hurt. Serena let go of his hand, slowly walking towards the water, stopping where the waves disappeared into the sand. He just stood there and watched her; her tall, beautiful figure was perfectly lit by the rays of the moon, her long blond hair gently blown in the breeze of the warm evening. She looked breathtaking, and he could feel himself falling in love with her even more, which he had never thought possible.

He started walking towards her, approaching her slowly. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she could feel his muscular chest pressing against her back. His chin dug into her shoulder, but he didn't hurt her; the movement made that moment so perfect. She leant into his embrace, and she felt protected and safe. He made her feel special; that was something he had always done, and she loved that feeling. They both remembered; moments of love and passion, times that would never be forgotten by either. _Nobody's ever looked at me the way you just did, _she said to him once, many moons ago. That night she saw something in his eyes, something she had never seen before in the many men that slept with her. His eyes shone with love, and she realised that, even though he might not have known it at the time, he loved her. And she felt safe.

All he thought about was another night...that eventful yet perfect night, when they shared their first kiss. It was the first time Dan had felt the pressure of the different social classes. After all, she was _the_ Serena van der Woodsen, the It-Girl socialite of the Upper East Side, and he was only Dan Humphrey from Brooklyn. All he wanted to do was impress her, and he let his judgement cloud his mind. He thought that what she would have expected from him would be what she was used with; luxury, town cars and 5-star restaurants. But he was only to learn how wrong he was; how happy and carefree she looked in the little pool hall in Brooklyn, where she could be just Serena, a teenage girl. He learned so much about her, but everything he discovered about the beautiful blond would only make him fall deeper for her. He remembered the song she picked, one that he would have never thought to play for her, and, inspired by the moment, he started singing it softly in her ear.

'Times have changed and times are strange,  
>Here I come, but I ain't the same,<br>Mama, I'm coming home.  
>Times gone by seems to be,<br>You could have been a better friend to me,  
>Mama, I'm coming home.'<p>

They started swaying, side to side, as he sang to her, making her remember. She gripped his arms, holding them tighter against her waist, letting him know she did. 

'You took me in and you drove me out,  
>Yeah, you had me hypnotized.<br>Lost and found and turned around,  
>By the fire in your eyes. <p>

You made me cry, you told me lies,  
>But I can't stand to say goodbye,<br>Mama, I'm Coming Home.  
>I could be right, I could be wrong,<br>It hurts so bad, it's been so long,  
>Mama, I'm coming home. <p>

Selfish love, yeah, we're both alone,  
>The ride before the fall.<br>But I'm gonna take this heart of stone,  
>I just got to have it all.<br>I've seen your face a hundred times,  
>Everyday we've been apart.<br>I don't care about the sunshine, yeah,  
>'Cause Mama, Mama, I'm coming home,<br>I'm coming home.'

Once he stopped singing, she twisted in his arms, so that she faced him. He saw little drops of water glistening like crystals on her cheek, and he brushed the tip of his nose over them, wiping them away.

Serena smiled. 'The song fits,' she laughed, but her eyes stared at their feet. 'I can't believe you remembered,' she muttered, her voice breaking slightly when she spoke.

Of course he remembered. Every second spent with her was so special to him, he could never forget. 'The song is catchy,' he joked, getting a giggle out of her. 'Serena, I don't think you have any idea what you meant to me. Being with you was what I wanted for a long time, so when I had the chance, I made the most of it. I allowed my heart to grow just so that it coped with the enormous love I felt for you, and after all the fights, and the gossip, and the mess that kept breaking us up, I think I never stopped. You will always be the one I will want, the one I will need and the one I will love. And I don't know if you still feel this way about me, although the fact we are here right now is encouraging me to think that you do, but no matter what your heart tells you, my heart will always be yours,' he vowed, and moved one hand to the side of her face, cupping her soft cheek and bringing her eyes back to his. He saw the tears again, and wiped them away with his thumb. 'Serena, don't cry,' he soothed, smoothing her gorgeous hair. 'Did I make you upset?' he asked, unsure of the reasons for her response. He was so happy right now; he finally held her again, and it seemed that everything was going to be good between them. Wasn't she feeling the same?

She couldn't speak. All of her emotions washed over her, overwhelming her. She was happy, more than happy, even; she just didn't have any energy to express it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed him to hold her again. She didn't cry anymore, the tears drying up as the present caught up with her. She held onto him as tightly as she could, and he was happy to envelop her in his arms. Without thinking, she turned her head so that her lips had access to his neck, and she placed a soft kiss there, breathing in his scent. Dan felt the corners of his lips rise, as his heart beat increased more than ever. He stroke her back gently, as she pulled away, only to bring her face closer to his. She was smiling too, and that small, insignificant moment between them restarted their relationship. He pressed his lips to her forehead, telling himself they had to take this slow. They couldn't mess up again; this time, there were going to be together forever, as she promised him a long time ago. She was thinking the same thing, as they walked together, hand in hand, back to their apartment.

'I came to wish you good night,' Dan said as he entered the bedroom where Serena slept. She laid in the bed, hidden underneath her covers, but he noticed what she was wearing. It reminded him of the old times. 'You know, I did pack one of Jenny's old pyjamas for you. You don't have to wear one of my shirts. You won't be comfortable in it,' he muttered, as he sat beside her.

'No, I prefer this,' she admitted. 'Unless you don't want me to wear it.'

'I'd love for you to wear it,' he said, and her face lit up. 'Good night, Serena,' he whispered, and leant over to kiss her cheek. She pressed her palm to his face, smoothing her thumb over his jaw.

Just before he left the room, Serena stopped him. 'Dan,' she whispered, and he turned around to look at her. Her eyes avoided him again, and it upset him how often she did that. He missed the old, confident, bubbly Serena, and it angered him how much the recent events had affected her. He somehow blamed himself; he put pressure on her, made her choose, but he knew, although he had no proof of it yet, that what happened at the Saints and Sinners Party, and most importantly _after_, was not Serena's fault. He trusted her, and he knew how much she needed that someone to believe in her. He was her rock, the only one who had showed her unconditional trust and support whenever she needed it, and for him, when he couldn't be her boyfriend, that was enough involvement to keep her close to him.

'Yeah?' he encouraged.

'Would you...umm...mind sleeping here tonight, maybe? I...I just don't want to be alone right now,' she confessed.

Dan tried to stop himself from smiling and bursting with happiness at the same time. 'Of course,' he said, and walked over to the bed, lying down next to her. They looked at each other for a moment, and then Serena rested her head on his chest, wrapping her arm around him, keeping him close. He snaked his arms around her waist too, keeping her safe, secretly wishing he could have protected her from the damaging life on the Upper East Side.

_**A/N:**_ It was pretty damn hard to write in the third person, but I hope it was good enough for you to like it. Originally, it was supposed to be a one-piece, but I might continue it, because I kind of have some ideas. Review and tell me what you think! xx


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: **__I am so sorry it took this long to update, but I was so busy with the finals, and prom, and all that jazz. Hope you enjoy the chapter!_

**Chapter Two: Memories**

When she woke up, his arm was wrapped around her tightly. Enclosed in his embrace, the feeling of security filled her heart with calm. Her back was pressed against his strong chest, and the rhythmic rise and fall of it reminded her of home; in his arms, she had always felt at home. He made her feel that way, and she loved that about him. With him, the hardships of her life were filtered by her shield, her protective man. A man that she loved greatly and deeply, and as much as she distracted herself with others like Aaron and Colin, men who might have loved her, but whom she fooled herself to believe she loved, her heart never ceased yearning for him. If she were to stop running away from her feelings and face them, she would have rushed into his arms and she would have stayed there a long time ago. She felt ashamed to even think and admit to herself that she knew Dan would have always been there to hold his arms wide open for her to grip on. She hated herself for having always taken him for granted, but, as she stroked the arm he kept around her, she promised to herself she would start to make him feel as appreciated as he had always made her feel.

She felt motivated enough to lift his arm slowly, carefully, so he didn't wake up. She got up and walked over to his side of the bed, kneeling beside him. She looked at him, her eyes pouring adoration as she watched him sleep, his face smoothed by peace. She remembered how much she loved him, and it angered her that she ever forgot. She remembered how much she depended on him, and how she couldn't live without him. She noticed a thick strand of his dark hair covering his eye, and she moved it with her fingers, revealing his eyelid. She knew that, underneath it, there would be the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen, the only ones that made her lose herself in them. As cliché as it sounded, they really were the gates to a beautiful soul. Serena run her fingers over his smooth cheek, and swiftly exited the room. She would start by spoiling him with some breakfast in bed. She remembered how much he liked waffles and, although she had never cooked a day in her life, she was willing to try. For him.

Her altruistic plan backfired as soon as she opened the fridge and saw that it was empty; no milk or eggs, and as she scanned the kitchen again, she learned that there was no waffle iron either. She didn't let this demoralise her, though. She'd just do what she did best; shop. She sneaked back into the bedroom and searched for some fresh clothes in Dan's bag. After she observed the limited choice, she noted to herself that, later today, she would have to inspect the shops of Hampstead. She took out one of Jenny's old dresses, and as much as she disliked her, she couldn't not admire the garment. Quietly, she put it on, and looked in the mirror to arrange her hair into a ponytail.

'You're leaving me already?' Dan suddenly asked, his voice thick with sleep.

'Hey, sorry I woke you up,' she muttered, her heart missing a beat when she saw his angelic face peeking from underneath the adorable mess his hair was. 'I was trying to be quiet, I was just going to run to the shop down the street to get us some breakfast,' she informed him, and continued to work on her hair.

Dan let out a small smile. 'Come here,' he instructed, patting the place by his side where she had slept the night before. She didn't need to be asked twice; she lay down beside him, this time facing him, and he instinctively wrapped her in his arms, touching his lips to her cheek. She reeled in the embrace, filling her lungs with his intoxicating scent. 'So, I don't know about you,' he started, 'but I'm really happy right now,' he stated, and she found it hard to overcome the joy she felt. 'I have really missed this,' he whispered, holding her tighter.

'So did I,' she replied simply, lacking the inspiration to come up with a better response.

They stayed that way for a while, the silence healing any broken bonds between them. Her hands were squished between their chests, but she didn't mind; it allowed her to caress his muscular chest through his shirt. Dan made sure his grip on her was as tight as it could be without causing her any pain. He had been deprived of holding her for so long, he felt the need to make up for the time lost. Randomly, he would rub his nose along her temples, maybe even press soft kisses there, showing her his affections, but without moving too fast. He knew she was still frail from what had happened only a few days before, and he didn't want to do anything to scare her away. He was satisfied with just being with her, and it seemed she was too.

'So about that breakfast,' he interrupted the silence, 'what did you have in mind?'

'I was thinking waffles,' she said, pushing away only to be able to see his face. 'I was going to go to the supermarket and buy the ingredients to make them myself,' she announce, proudly.

He let out a short laugh. 'Serena, as much as it was a lovely plan, and a wonderful surprise, we both know that the last time you tried to cook, I had to use the fire extinguisher for the first time,' he told her, and she laughed, hiding her face in his chest. 'I suggest we go out for breakfast today, and we shop for tomorrow. What do you think of that? '

'That sounds great,' she said, and got out of bed, but not before kissing the arm Dan snaked around her.

'You know, you didn't have to buy every single appliance that this kitchen lacked; I mean, we could have done without the mixer, or the bread slicer,' Dan mused as he dropped the countless bags on the counter. 'My arms are dying,' he complained, and he noticed Serena entering the room with equally as many bags hung from her hands and arms. 'How can you not be tired after all this shopping? I'm exhausted,' he moaned, as he unpacked to make room for more bags.

'Years of practise,' she said, and they both smiled when they caught each other's eyes. It felt so good between them; so at ease and natural. 'Well, at least now we have everything we need for you to cook and changes of clothes to last us the three weeks.'

'We do, don't we?' he said, and stacked the juice maker neatly in one of the cupboards. 'All done,' he announced, and led Serena on the balcony. They sat on the plastic chairs, watching the sun set behind the soft waves. Their hands, interlocked, hanged in between them, keeping them somehow united and touching. The moment was perfect, and neither wanted it to finish. But the sun disappeared, and Serena felt her stomach ask for food.

'Hey, let's try out our new equipment,' she suggested, and Dan complied eagerly.

'I cook, you learn,' he decided, and picked Serena up gently, carrying her effortlessly to the kitchen. This sparked sweet memories in both of them; they remembered the night of the cotillion, another Upper East Side formality that neither liked nor understood. She looked beautiful in that golden dress, and he recalled the ideal ending to a night that didn't necessarily begin well. When he held her and kissed her, the rift that CeCe might have created between them disappeared, and, as he carried her out of the venue, they both felt liberated. Free from the heaviness and expectations of the Upper East Side elite, free from the misunderstandings and lies. They were together and that was all that mattered.

He set her on the counter, and, after he noticed a rebellious strand of hair on her perfect face, he pinned it behind her ear.

'So,' he interrupted the silence, 'what do you want to eat tonight? I have the facilities to prepare you a five-star restaurant meal,' he joked, and took her hands into his.

'Surprise me,' she challenged, and he agreed.

She watched as he cooked, moving around the kitchen expertly. She noticed his muscles flex as he cut and diced and mixed whatever it was that he was cooking. The smell was heavenly, and it brought back memories of times when he cooked for her in the morning, when she would walk out of his bedroom in only his shirt and see him prepare something that he hoped she would like. She always did. It was weird how often this vacation brought back old memories; it allowed them to continue the great love they once shared.

'Dinner is served, m' lady,' he joked, and helped her to jump off the counter. He led her to the table on the balcony, holding out a chair for her to sit. 'I hope you like it,' he said as he sat opposite her.

She took a bite, and, as she chewed, she smiled, tears threatening to creep out of the corners of her eyes. 'I can't believe you remembered,' she whispered, repeating what she had said the night before, when they walked on the beach.

'Of course I remembered. How could I not?' he muttered, and stretched his hand across the table, reaching for hers. She didn't hesitate to grip his fingers with hers. They thought of that special night, the night of Serena's birthday. It started disastrously.

_'Mom, do you really completely ignore everything I say to you? I told you I didn't want this party; I had plans with Dan! He's waiting for me in town, and I'm not going to leave him waiting,' Serena shouted, once Lily shut the door to her room._

_ 'Well, Serena, I thought that maybe once you saw all of your friends here, for you, you might...' _

_ 'Stand up Dan? Why, because he's not Ann Archibald or Eleanor Waldorf's son? Face it, mom, you did this so you could stop me from being seen with him on my birthday, instead of at one of your stupid parties. I told you Dan was more important to me than what your friends might think about me, and I'm not going to give him up just so that we maintain this stupid facade. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to meet my boyfriend,' she said, and stormed out the door, not looking back. _

_She ran down the busy streets, tears of anger and frustration streaming out of her eyes. She could feel her makeup run, but she didn't allow herself to care. What mattered most was meeting Dan and spending this evening with him, and she wouldn't let anything ruin it...anymore. She sped through the gates to Central Park, searching desperately for just a sight of him. She needed to know he was still there, that she wasn't too late. Their bench was close, and her heart hurt from the hope of finding him there. She didn't even bother to look at her watch, she already knew she was late, and that thought made her run even faster. _

_She gave out a small sob when she saw him waiting, relief shaking her hands uncontrollably. Her legs moved faster than they ever had, her six-inch heels making a noise that almost seemed uninterrupted. She was so close, but he didn't see her, his eyes searching for her in the opposite direction. She couldn't shout; the tiredness didn't allow it, so she just ran. _

_Until she fell. She was close enough for him to hear it, and as soon as he set eyes on her, crumbled to the concrete, he jumped by her side, picking her up. _

_ 'Serena, are you okay? What happened?' he asked, holding her in his arms as he carried her to the bench. _

_ 'Dan, I am so sorry,' she cried, burying her face in his shoulder, embarrassed. 'My mom made me late because she tunes out everything I tell her, and I _ran_ to meet you because I was afraid you would think I stood you up, and you'd leave, and my heel broke because it seems Louboutin doesn't design running shoes, and I fell,' she rambled, explaining. _

_ 'Shh, calm down,' he soothed,' I would never leave you,' he promised. 'So, now you're crying because you thought I would leave, or because you fell? Be honest,' he joked, hoping to lighten her mood. _

_ He succeeded. 'A little bit of both,' she admitted, and let out a weak laugh. _

_ He laughed with her, bringing their foreheads together. 'Hey, when it comes to me, you won't lose me that easily. I will stick around for a while, and I'll be here for so long, that you'll start hiding from me. I love you too much to leave you, Serena,' he promised, his face cupping her cheek. _

_ 'I will hold you up to that promise,' she muttered, and brought her lips together with his, their mouths moulding perfectly against each other. _

_ 'Happy Birthday,' he whispered once his lips were freed, and he moved them to her cheek, pressing them there a few times. 'Okay, so I thought we could have a little picnic here, just the two of us, under the New York stars which, might I add, shine brighter than any other stars,' he said, pointing to the setting sun. Time flew by them when they were together, and they didn't seem to notice. He pulled out a soft blanket and wrapped it snugly around them, and then smoothed her hair with his hand. 'You look as beautiful as always,' he complimented her, causing her cheeks to burn, an unusual reaction for Serena van der Woodsen, who usually expected men to desire and admire her. He had a way of making her feel more special than any other man had ever made her feel. There was something in his voice when he spoke to her, or in his eyes when he looked at her, that she hadn't seen anywhere else, and that caused her insides to melt. 'I know how much you like fish, so I thought I'd make you seafood paella,' he announced, as he placed a plastic bowl on her lap. 'Enjoy,' he said, and pecked her lips before eating his food. _

_ 'Dan, this is amazing,' she said, her mouth full. 'If it was up to me, I would eat this every day. Promise me you'll make this for me again,' she asked, her mouth now busy with another spoonful of paella. _

_ 'I promise.' _

He didn't keep his promise. Until now. He couldn't have kept it; little did they know at that time that so much would happen between them, they would soon break up. How could they have known that evening in Central Park, that Georgina, Serena's past and the Upper East Side would form an entity stronger than them that would split them apart? They had no idea; they were madly in love, and when it happened, it tore them both to pieces.

But now it was the time to try again, and they were so set on succeeding, nothing in the world seemed strong enough to destroy them. This time, they would be together forever, as they imagined a long time ago. Serena subconsciously smiled at this and, as she enjoyed her seafood paella, she saw Dan smiling too._****_

_**A/N:**__ I would really appreciate some reviews, and thank you to all of you who have reviewed the first chapter of this story. It was extremely encouraging for me. I'll be posting the next chapter as soon as possible! xx_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Promise**

That night, they walked hand in hand on the beach, the repetitive noise of the calm sea creating a peaceful atmosphere between them. They walked for what only seemed like a few metres, but was, in fact, almost a kilometre. Ahead, the beach seemed to never end, and it made Serena think that as long as they kept walking, never stopping, nothing bad could ever happen to her. He was there, with her, and that was all she needed to keep going. She was prepared to never go back, to give it all up for him; the clothes, the money, the popularity, the press. Nothing was as important to her as he was. And she intended to never let him go again. She wouldn't lose him again.

Soft music interrupted the silence, as they reached a small restaurant holding a small wedding on the terrace. They stopped and watched the bride and groom swaying gently to the music. They looked so happy, like they were the only two people there at that moment. They seemed to be infatuated with one another, and Dan remembered moments when he looked at Serena and she became the only one standing in the room. Anything else around him would be covered by an impenetrable blur, the only one shining being her.

'When we were together,' Serena spoke, interrupting Dan's thoughts, 'I always thought that would be us someday,' she whispered, and rested her head on his shoulder. 'I never was the type of girl obsessed with getting married and planning my wedding from fifteen, but when I was with you, I couldn't not see us at the altar, exchanging vows.' Dan wound her arms around her, pulling her closer to him. He had imagined it too; so many times, that it actually seemed possible that Serena van der Woodsen would one day become Serena Humphrey. 'And look at us now,' she continued, her tone suddenly sad. 'Three years ahead, and we have run away together, after making up and breaking up three times, the terror of Gossip Girl, Nate, Vanessa, the hate and lies, Aaron and Tripp and Collin, and, to top it all off, you having a son for a couple of months with the one person I hate most. Some would look at all this, and just give up. But I can't. I look at it and I think that it made us stronger, it has allowed us to become able to withstand anything. It has finally given us a chance to maybe even make it as far as to, one day, dance at our own wedding. After our horrible past, we could finally be able to make it into the future. And I want it, Dan, I want us to work this time. So much,' she whispered and hid her face into his chest, wrapping her arms around him, too.

As much as he hated to see her worried and upset, Dan couldn't wipe the smile that stuck stubbornly to his face. Hearing her say those words gave him reason enough to fight against her world, a world he was now a part of, but didn't belong to. He belonged with her. Wherever she would be.

'Hey, don't worry,' he soothed, rubbing her back with one of his hands. 'I know we'll make it this time. Do you want to know why?'

'Why?' she challenged, her face still hidden in his chest.

'Because you've said it yourself, a long time ago. You and I are forever,' he declared.

She was overwhelmed by the emotions stirred inside her when he said that. She was secretly happy at the fact that he paid so much attention to her throughout these years, and that he would still remember from the little to the big things of their relationship. The song she picked on their first date, her love of his seafood paella, now this, it was little things like these that would make it hard for her to remember why they ever broke up.

'Promise me,' she whispered in his chest, 'promise me that we will be together forever,' she urged, insecurity taking over her. She couldn't justify it, but she needed to hear it from him in order for it to become possible. It was weird, but true, and it happened to her once before; when she asked him to explain why he loved her.

'Serena, I promise you that I will never be as stupid to let you go again. No matter what everyone else thinks about us, no matter how hard it will be, I promise this time, we _will_ be forever. I promise.' He whispered the last bit after burying his face in her hair.

She sobbed quietly as he held her, and he didn't realise until he could feel her weakened body shake in his arms.

'Hey, don't cry, Serena,' he soothed, cupping her face with his hand. She tried to smile, although tears were still running down her cheeks, and sobs were still putting pressure on her lungs. He brought her face closer to him, touching his lips to her temple, softly, for a second. Then, he moved them to her cheek, keeping them there a while longer. She didn't think; she acted on impulse and twisted her head, pressing her lips gently on his. He responded to her kiss, immediately after muting the annoying voice inside his head telling him they were moving too fast. This time, he was acting with his heart, and it was telling him this was right. It felt right. Their lips moved together in a much too well known routine, moulding against each other. Instinctively, Serena wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping him close, while his arms were locked tightly around her waist. It was like old times again.

xoxo

'So...um...goodnight,' Dan said as he sat on the end of Serena's bed. She was resting her back on the bed board, holding a cup of tea in her hands. Her knees were brought to her chest, and Dan noticed her toes peeking from underneath the cover. Although they were sitting quite close to each other, it seemed like she was so far away from him. His arms ached to hold her, his lips yearning for hers. But he refrained himself from moving from where he sat; what had just happened on the beach was enough for one night. They had enough time to afford taking things slowly, and he didn't feel the need to rush anything. They were forever.

'Are you sure you don't want to sleep here? I mean, the sofa is so uncomfortable,' she asked, ashamed about how much she wanted to hear him accept her offer.

He sighed. 'Serena, you know I only want to stay here with you, and hold you in my arms as you fall asleep, but I also want us to do this right. I don't want to rush anything; we don't need to. You know, forever is a _really _long time,' he joked, but noticed that, somehow, he was now sitting closer to her.

'I know, I know. I just...I really missed you, you know, and after everything that happened in New York, what with Juliet, and Nate waking up to the fact that he wanted to be with me again just when I realised I wanted to be with you, it was a very exhausting time for me. And tonight...when we kissed...I felt free for the first time in a long while. It felt natural, between us, and right. I don't think we would be rushing into anything, Dan, I just really need to be with you,' she confessed, her eyes watching the little ripples that formed at the surface of her tea as her hands shook.

He smiled as he heard her speak. 'Come here,' he encouraged, patting his thigh. She smiled slightly too and did as was asked of her, but her eyes were still focused away from him, or anywhere close to him. She sat on his lap, her legs hanging off one side, her hands in her lap. She looked like a child that was about to be punished after breaking their mother's favourite vase, and that upset Dan. 'First of all, look at me,' he instructed, 'I don't want you to ever feel like you can't trust me, or talk to me, or whatever reason you think you have for keeping me from seeing those beautiful eyes of yours,' he said, and she complied, melting her eyes into his. 'Good,' he whispered, and brought their foreheads together, wrapping his arms around her.

She did the same, gripping the back of his T-shirt. Slowly, he leant in, and she could feel her heart slow down, until it seemed like it stopped. Her breath halted, and she waited for the perfect moment when his lips captured hers. Her heart suddenly restarted, now beating faster than ever. She pressed one hand to his face, making sure he wouldn't stop. Slowly, she lifted one knee, bringing it between them and on the other side, resting it on the bed. Their kisses became deeper and deeper, the passion they both refrained these couple of days overflowing into their actions. His hands slid to her hips, bringing them closer to him, pressing their bodies together even more. The shirt she wore, _his_ shirt, rose just above her hip and he used the moment to gently slip his hands underneath it, caressing the soft skin of her back and stomach. He was completely entranced by her, too busy to realise how much his 'slow' plan was ignored. He knew not to take advantage; he would have never done that, to her or to anyone. He knew when to stop, but that moment wasn't then. He kept his hands on her skin, his palms resting on her hips. Wherever they touched, it seemed as her body was alive, just as she felt more alive than she had in a long time. She allowed her hands to find the buttons of her shirt, undoing the first one, then the second, but as she struggled to slide the third one through the small hole, Dan's hands gripped hers.

'Serena, stop,' he whispered in the small space between them.

'I'm sorry,' she muttered, dropping her eyes on their interlocked hands on her lap.

'Hey, what did I say about your eyes?' She raised them, looking at him. She was hurt, and he could see it in them. 'Talk to me, S,' he encouraged, his breath still sprinting from the previous moments.

'I...I, um...I don't know. I can't really think of an excuse for what might have just happened.'

'You don't need an excuse, Serena. Trust me, if it was up to me, we wouldn't be talking right now, but I'm just afraid that we would be hustling into things. Don't you think we should wait at least a bit longer before we sleep together?'

'Well, technically, we did sleep together last night,' she joked, and smiled up at him, making sure he got it.

He smiled back. 'Serena, we both know that we're capable of much more than that,' he said, causing her to blush. Then, her smile disappeared, her eyes avoiding his again. Frustrated, Dan put his hands around Serena's face and brought it to face him. His thumbs smoothed her cheeks, rubbing repetitive lines just underneath her eyes. 'Okay, tell me what is it that you want, and I'll try my best to make it possible,' he gave up, expecting her to resume what they were doing only a few minutes before.

'I want you to hold me as I fall asleep,' she said, pressing her hand over his, holding them to her face. 'I think you're right. We would be moving too fast, and we don't need to. I was stupid and kind of overreacted tonight, and I don't want you to think that all I want from this relationship is sex. I want to be with you, Dan, and that means a lot more than sleeping together.' She smiled at him again, the contagious grin quickly catching on. He smoothed her hair, allowing the strands to run in between his fingers.

'Well, I can definitely do that,' he said, and brought their mouths together one more time, gently, tenderly.

'Wait, I just need to tell you one more thing,' she said as soon as they broke off. 'I'm not just saying this because I'm getting what I want, I say this because it's the truth that I have been hiding for the past couple of years. I hid it quite well, because I allowed myself to forget, and I'm so sorry I did, but now I don't feel that I should hide it anymore.' She took his hands in hers, and he noticed how hard they shook. He took over, holding her fingers in the palms of his hands, steadying them, offering her the understated support he knew she needed but would never ask for. He knew she was scared, how she had become even more so after what Juliet had done to her. He also knew that she had a talent in hiding it, the only one who saw through her poker face being him. Serena couldn't help but love the way he knew her; the way he would say just the right thing at the right time. The way he would make her feel safe and loved, the way he believed in her. The inexplicable way she felt around him. She remembered what he said about her eyes, and she just didn't find the right words at the time to tell him that she did trust him, she was just so ashamed. Embarrassed at how she allowed herself to ruin what could have been a great love. At her mother's wedding, all those years ago, she didn't fight. She just let him walk away, and she felt angry at herself for giving him any reason to. She didn't want to remember all the other times when she let him slip through her fingers, all the times when she forced her feelings to fade away, telling herself 'this time, it's over'. She only recently realised it never was over. Their feelings never disappeared, they were just ignored. But she wouldn't make the same mistake again. She would never again ignore what was something as good as them.

She looked in his brown eyes, green melting into brown. 'Dan Humphrey, I love you. So much, that I can't really explain or justify it. You are my first love, my only true love, and I really hope you know that.'

'Serena, if I didn't know, then I wouldn't be here right now. And I don't hesitate to think that you know, too, how insanely in love I have always been with you. If I wasn't, then I really doubt I would have felt what I did when I would see Nate's hands hold yours, Colin's lips kiss yours... The countless nights I was awake wondering if you were asleep or...not...'

'But you were with Vanessa,' she interrupted, pressing one hand to his face as soon as his eyes saddened. 'I thought you were happy.'

'So did I. But they say that you don't know what you're missing until you have it. In my case, I forgot what I had. What we had...'

It was him that looked away now, but Serena moved her head so that it remained in his line of vision. 'Well, I'm glad that you remembered,' she whispered, and kissed his cheek, before softly hiding his lips under hers.

They lay in the bed, Serena's body enfolded in his embrace. Their gazes held each other, each look speaking one thousand words. He allowed his eyes to roam over the delicate features of her beautiful face, feeling her heart beat faster when their eyes randomly met. Oh, how much he loved her; every fibre of his being shouted it. He. Loved. Her.

'You know,' Serena whispered, 'you still look at me that way.'

'What way?' he asked, confused.

'The way no one's ever looked at me before. The way only you do,' she explained resting her head on the pillow, closer to his chest. 'The way you looked at me that night, at your loft, a long while ago; the way you've looked at me ever since.'

'Well, Serena, nothing has changed in the way I see you,' he spoke, and watched her smile, tucked into his arms. He kissed the top of her head, and placed his right by hers. His eyes closed, and just before unconsciousness threatened to take over, he felt her return the favour by pressing her lips gently on the arm he kept around her.

xoxo

Repeated, insistent knocks woke her, the bright light that shone through the window causing her eyes to hurt. The knocks continued, and Serena realised they were coming from the front door. She struggled to get up, untangling her legs from Dan's, and stripping his heavy arms from her waist. She didn't even bother to look in the mirror, she just wanted the exasperating pounding to go away. She turned the key into the lock, and removed the safety chain, only to gasp loudly at the sight of the person she least desired to see on her doorstep.

'Mom,' she whispered, as the woman familiarly raised her eyebrows in disappointment.

_**A/N:**__ Thank you for reading. I hope the story is still fulfilling your expectations. I really appreciate all of your kind reviews; they are what motivates me to keep writing. Thank you, and the next chapter is coming up as soon as I write it. :D xx_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Confessions **

The mother and daughter stood there, staring at each other. Serena's knees felt as if they could give in at any moment. Her mother being there ruined it; the idea of escape, freedom, detachment from expectations and rules and everything that living on the Upper East Side meant. Lily was a sudden remainder that the fairytale she had lived in the past couple of days was just fantasy, and at some point she would have to wake up from her dream, come back to reality. And that moment came a lot sooner than Serena desired or expected.

She panicked. She knew her mother was here for a reason, and she just didn't want to care what that was. She didn't want to be taken away from Dan, from the little town that became the perfect backdrop for mending their love, from the memories reminisced in the little apartment, and the new memories they made in the few days spent here. She knew she wasn't strong enough to stand up to her mother anymore, at least not then. She needed time to heal, and she doubted her mother understood that. She needed Dan to justify to Lily why they left, because she just couldn't formulate an explanation good enough to wipe the heartbreakingly disappointed look in her mother's eyes.

'Serena, who is it?' he asked from around the corner, as if he heard what she was thinking. He couldn't see the person standing on the other side of the door, and he didn't think it important enough to really care so early in the morning, but when his eyes settled on the familiar figure, any words he could have said were abstained in an instant.

'Well, are you ever going to ask me inside?' Lily asked, her tone tired and annoyed. It matched her eyes.

Serena didn't answer, she just opened the door wider and moved out of the way. As soon as her mother entered, she closed it and turned to Dan. He saw how terrified she looked, how desperate she was for everything to be okay. He gathered her in his arms, holding her reassuringly.

'It's going to be fine, Serena. You'll see,' he whispered to her. How he wanted to believe the words that came out of his mouth, but he wasn't sure about anything concerning Serena's mother anymore. He knew how capable she was of getting what she wanted, and if that was them apart, then she had a history of succeeding.

They walked hand in hand in the small living room, where Lily sat on an armchair. They joined her, sitting on the sofa, side by side. The uncomfortable silence was excruciating, especially for Serena, who would have broken down in sobs if it wasn't for Dan's strong hands keeping hers in his.

'I would love a glass of champagne, thank you, Daniel,' Lily announced, her irritated tone suggesting that he left.

'I'm sorry, Lily, but we have no alcohol in the apartment. I didn't think it right for Serena to be around it, especially so soon after recent events that you might be familiar with,' he responded, sternly. He wanted to be strong. For Serena, to make her feel safe; for Lily, to understand how serious he was about her daughter.

'You know, Dan, when I heard that my daughter went missing from the private centre filled with highly qualified professionals that I poured a lot of money for, I should have known you were behind it. I mean, what on earth were you thinking, disrespecting what I thought best for my daughter! You had no right to go against...'

'Mom, stop!' Serena interrupted, her voice shaking harder than her hands. 'It's not his fault.'

'Serena, be quiet. You don't really have a say in this.'

'That is exactly why I took her out of that place! You completely ignored the fact that Serena might have had an opinion about whether she should have been committed to an institute, you didn't even talk to her about what happened, or what she wanted. You didn't care for anything else except being able to label her as 'sorted' before you were interviewed by some petty journalist about your daughter's supposed overdose. That was not the right way to deal with her. She was terrorized after what happened that night, and all she needed was someone else to talk to, not the same pompous psychiatrist with a white coat and a condescending tone. She needed someone to listen to her, and trust her to be good enough to not have done what everyone else kept accusing her of. I'm sorry to say this, Lily, but I cared about _her_, while you didn't.'

He waited for the storm to come, for Lily to shout and accuse and decide. But it didn't happen. She looked away, her chin touching her shoulder, and Dan noticed it was trembling.

'It still doesn't give you the right to go against me. I am her mother, and this decision was _supposed_ to be mine, not anyone else's. I thought I was doing the right thing,' she muttered, her voice tinted with hurt. 'I was trying to protect you from the press, but most importantly from yourself,' she said, her tone softening even more. A single tear rolled down her cheek, but Lily wiped the evidence before a second one fell. Her gaze moved towards Serena, and her usually proud and courageous eyes were defeated by soft red rims. 'I was so proud of what you had become, controlled and mature; I thought we were past all the issues that we had before you left for boarding school. The other day, after the Saints and Sinners party, when I was sitting by a hospital bed occupied by my intoxicated daughter, I saw a glimpse of the old Serena, and I didn't want to believe she would ever come back. I was so scared that you were going to go back to your old ways, and I knew I would never let that happen again. I thought you needed help.' Lily wiped her cheek again, and dropped her eyes, focusing them on the intertwined hands of the two adolescents, and as improbable as it seemed, Dan saw one corner of her mouth rising in a sad smile. 'It never occurred to me that you might have needed something else, something you know I am not good at being. Someone you could talk to, confide in, and someone who unconditionally believed in you, even though all odds were against you. Someone like Dan, whom I thank for being here for you, although I don't appreciate his methods of going about it.'

Serena took her hands out of Dan's comforting hold and walked over to her mother, kneeling by her feet.

'Mom, since I came back from boarding school, I have been killing myself to prove to everyone that I am not the uncontrollable teenage girl I used to be. I wanted to show people I changed, and the person I wanted to prove it to the most was you. And it hurt that after all this time it was so easy for you to believe the worst about me and commit me to an institution. It's so frustrating that you don't trust me, that you chose to believe anyone else except for me. I don't know what else to do to earn your trust.' Tears rolled down her cheeks too, but they didn't stop her from speaking. She needed her mom to hear all of this, in order for their relationship to ever go back to a relative normal.

'I am so sorry, sweetheart,' Lily said, taking her daughter's hands into hers. 'You have to understand how scared I was. I could have lost you that night. I wasn't thinking clearly and I would have done anything to protect you, even if that meant locking you up in a psychiatric centre.'

'I understand,' Serena said, and let her lips smile weakly as Lily kissed the top of her knuckles. She wasn't sure exactly what it was that she understood, but she was willing to let it go, at least for now. She didn't have the energy to fight.

'I'm sorry I doubted you. I never should have, but how was I supposed to know that anyone would be as immoral as to do what Juliet did to you. I am sorry you had to go through that, honey.' She smoothed Serena's hair, just like she had done many times before, when Serena was still a child.

'Wait, how do you know about what Juliet did?' Serena asked, looking up at her mother again. She wiped the tears off her face, feeling her eyes heavy with emotions. She was confused at what happened; she couldn't explain it to anyone, every scenario she had in mind sounded like some evil master plan, and all of the evidence was against her. She was angry at how much distress and misery Juliet had caused her family, and she wished she understood what reason she had to cause it. She was subconsciously worried about Dan. Why, she couldn't say, but she feared that once he heard the truth of what happened that night his blind belief in her would be destroyed, and she would lose him again. She tried to prevent that by sitting next to him, gripping onto his hands as hard as she could. She hoped that that way, he wouldn't be able to leave. He looked at her, sensing that she was distressed, and although he didn't guess her motives, he let her know that he was there and she didn't need to worry. She smiled half-heartedly at him, but didn't let go.

Lily watched her daughter sit beside who she intuited was now her boyfriend. In the few seconds it took them to share the little moment, she worried about their relationship. What would everybody say about Serena dating her step-brother? What would that mean for her and Rufus? How will Serena take it once her fantasy romance is broken down again by the unfortunate situation they were in? She didn't have the heart to ruin it. She wouldn't meddle in their relationship ever again. She always knew that Dan would have a special place in Serena's heart, and she truly believed that they deserved another chance. They deserved to relive what were once the best moments of Serena's life, until fate would stop it.

She barely noticed her daughter staring at her expectantly, and she began explaining the events of that wretched night.

'Well, Jenny confessed to Blair about being behind the operation. She told her she was working with Vanessa for Juliet. They dressed up in the same dress as you and entered the party under your name, but Vanessa wasn't with them. I really don't understand how they managed to do that, but that's irrelevant now. Jenny told Blair that she kissed Nate while Juliet kissed Dan, which I don't know how was supposed to turn them against you.'

He dropped his head, ashamed and angry. He was played, and he almost let that ruin things with Serena. He had been so stupid. 'I'm so sorry, Serena,' Dan whispered once Lily finished that last sentence. It wasn't enough; 'sorry'. Was there a word good enough to describe the remorse he felt? 'So much for always believing in you... I'm sorry, I...'

She put her hands over his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. 'You have nothing to apologise for. You couldn't have known...' she reassured him, rubbing her thumbs over the skin she could reach. It felt ironic to him, that she would be the one comforting him, when he was the one in the wrong. Why could she forgive him for not believing in her, which was something he prided himself in doing, when he took exactly two seconds to condemn her at that party?

'Jenny saw Blair and Chuck go somewhere together, and she was the one to drop the curtain and expose them, which upset Blair,' Lily continued, and Serena took hold of Dan's fingers again. 'It went hand-in-hand with Juliet's plan, which was to basically have everyone you cared about hate you. To distance you from anyone that mattered in your life. On the surface, it seems so childish, and immature, but her motives were darker than that.

After Jenny confessed to Blair, they came to see me. They told me everything; I have to admit, I was so distressed by your little disappearing act, I didn't believe them at first. But Jenny showed me proof; your mask. She told me after that, Juliet disappeared without a word. Blair was furious. She kept shouting at Jenny, at me, repeating over and over how stupid it was of everyone to believe Juliet. She said that people were just generally blind if they ever mistook you for 'this social climber from Brooklyn or that poor liar with better hair than expected', her words, not mine. She was so angry, that she made Jenny wear your mask again, to ask me whether I would have fallen for the disguise. But when Jenny put on the mask, she started coughing and became unstable on her feet. I took it off, asked her what happened, and she said it smelled funny. When I smelled it, the scent was familiar, and only later I remember smelling it once again before. Your dress reeked of it when I was called into hospital one night, five years ago, after you suffered that overdose. I'm not sure how much you remember, after the procedures, and pills, and...' Lily stopped when she saw a glimpse of Serena's face. It was something she clearly wasn't proud of, something that she wanted to forget, which explained the pained, mortified look on her face. Lily waited for one moment, allowing Serena to shake the memories from her mind, to detach herself from the past. It wasn't important enought to worry about it at that moment. What mattered then was the future.

Serena tried to avoid Dan's eyes; she didn't want to see if he was disappointed in her, now that he heard yet another story about her youth that she desperately tried to keep a secret.

Her mom broke the deafening silence. 'It all happened very fast after that. I couldn't remember the name of the drug, but I still went to the police and showed them the mask. Jenny told them the story, and they carried out some drug tests, which came out as positive; the thing in the mask was called 'Ether' or something like that. They asked us questions; a ton of them, and asked for our statements. They even got a hold of Nate, as his past with Juliet was somehow important. They alerted the Interpol, organised search parties all around New York, the neighbouring cities and states, and soon they found her. She was trying to catch a train from Connecticut to Massachussets. Five interrogations later, it finally occurred to them that they could perform a lie detector test on her, and they asked me to write some of the questions. It doesn't matter what I asked, what matters is that she confessed to everything Jenny told us, and to taking you to a cheap motel room, where she stuffed you with countless other drugs, and she planted some more pills around you, to make it seem like you used them. Let's just say that this ended with some mug shots, an orange plastic outfit, and a jail cell occupied by Miss Sharp. It's over now, Serena,' he mother said, soothingly.

Serena nodded, and hid her face in Dan's chest, overwhelmed by the truth. Dan rubbed her back affectionately, drawing large circles on the shirt she wore. He realised that the way they were both dressed, Serena in his shirt, and him in only slacks, could have hinted to Lily that something might have happened between them last night, but he didn't feel like explaining anything just yet. At that moment, all he wanted was to be with Serena, be that someone she could lean on while dealing with all that stuff that upset her greatly.

'Anyway, as soon as Juliet was behind bars, I had to come and get you back to New York. The police still needs your statement before anything can go to court, and they need it as soon as possible. Everyone is waiting for you to, you know, apologise to you. Blair especially. She is so sorry about how she acted, and she is desperate to make things up with you. You need to give her a chance to. You need to come home.'

Serena shook her head against Dan's chest, and he felt hot, fresh tears spread over his skin. He tightened his grip on her, and kissed the top of her head, comforting her. He let her cry; he knew she needed to, after all the drama, and the fear, and the pressure and tension. Now that it was all over, she needed to cry it all out of her system. He was just there for her, and she was grateful for that.

'Does she really have to go back now? I mean, can't we stay here the three weeks we rented this apartment for, allow Serena to finally relax, recharge her batteries, most importantly, heal, and then have her deal with whatever it is waiting for her at home. Isn't that wiser?'

'Well, the police department doesn't think it is. They need her statement now, so that the case doesn't lose importance in court. Please, darling, understand. After we're done with the trial, you and Dan can go on another vacation, if you want to. But for right now, you are needed in New York.'

Dan sighed. He hated the fact that he agreed with Lily on this. As much as he understood how important it was for Serena to escape, he knew it was more so that she returned to the city to put an end to Juliet. 'Serena, I know you won't want to hear this, but maybe it is better for us to return. Think about it, if you give your statement, then everything is over for good. And we'll go away somewhere, just the two of us, for however long you want, just to escape. I know how much that means to you. Just consider it, please. It is for the best.'

They _were_ right, but it just annoyed her that she knew they were. She didn't want to leave yet; she loved the simplicity, the unpretentiousness of this place. The calm feeling when little grains of sand would slide between her toes. But she had to; if she went back to New York, then Juliet could be forgotten, and her and Dan could start fresh. They could be a couple again.

She took her time in communicating her decision, just to lie against his chest a minute longer, just to delay the terrifying concept of returning home. Eventually, she muttered a simple 'okay'.

_**A/N: **__Okay, okay, I know. Long, boring chapter. I'm not proud of it, but I felt it was needed to do a bit of explanation. I hope it didn't disappoint _too_ much, and that you keep reading my story. I really appreciate it. Thank you! Xx_

_PS. Sorry about the layout of the story, it's crap and makes it really hard to read, but I have NO IDEA how to separate the paragraphs or put indents or whatever. I have tried, I just can't do it on here. Sorry . _


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Welcome Home**

As soon as they were out of Hampstead and on the highway, it started raining. Large, heavy drops of water smashed against the smoky glass of the limo windows, the repetitive noise being painfully similar to the pounding in Serena's head. She laid her head in his lap, allowing her legs to rest on the large space of the seat beside her. She was worried; maybe it wasn't such a good idea to go back so soon. Of course she wanted to see Blair, and Eric, but she wanted to be Dan's girlfriend more, and that wasn't going to be easy on the Upper East Side. Snide comments, criticism, judgement, they would always be there, somewhere around them, like an aura, or a disease. But she wanted to be strong enough this time. She wouldn't mess everything up again, because she felt that this was her last shot at forever with him; this was the last chance they had, and if they ruined it, the break would be irreparable, regardless of their eternal feelings for each other.

She was used to it; the press, and lies, and sleaze. But Dan wasn't, and she didn't know how long he could last before it all became too much for him. That troubled her the most, and she just prayed that she would be strong enough for them both, that she would be able to fight Dan's battle as well as her own.

He moved his long fingers through her hair, the soft strands sliding easily around his knuckles. His eyes rested on her face, and he wondered why it was that he could just watch her all day. What was so captivating, so enchanting about that beautiful woman? All he knew was that he loved her, more than anything; that, he couldn't question.

'What are you thinking about?' he asked, once her face scrunched up with worry. He continued to stroke her hair with one hand, while the other wrapped tightly around one of hers. He was frustrated that she didn't talk to him about her concerns, when she knew that he knew her better than anyone in her life. He could read it in her eyes when she was hurt, or upset, or happy. And right now, all he read was insecurity.

'Nothing,' she muttered, unsure of what to say.

'Maybe someone else would believe that, but I think you're forgetting who you're talking to. We both know it's not nothing. Talk to me, Serena,' he encouraged softly, rubbing comforting circles over the skin of her hand.

She sighed. 'It's going to be hard, isn't it? Life back home? Things will change and some won't like it...or approve of it,' she murmured, bringing her gaze together with his.

'I know.'

'No, Dan, you don't. It will become unbearable, the whispers, seeing every newspaper print a headline with your name in it, the seclusion from supposed friends... It will poison you from the inside, and one day you'll just give up. You won't be able to take it anymore, and it's going to destroy me when everything will drive you away, and I'll hopelessly watch you walk out.'

He didn't argue with her; she didn't need that. She needed security, a safety net, and he was going to offer that to her until she regained the confidence that she had lost recently; confidence in herself and those who loved her. He smiled down at her, and brought her hand up with his, just to graze his lips over her fingers. Without uttering a word, he helped her sit up, keeping one hand pressed to the top of her head, just in case she hit it against the low roof of the limo. She brought her legs on either side of his, and sat there, unsure of what to say or do.

Out of the blue, Dan extended his right arm in front of her, as much as the small space between them allowed him. 'Hi, I'm Dan Humphrey,' he stated, staring in her deep emerald eyes.

Serena let out a weak laugh, and looked away, her eyes focusing on the hand he kept on her thigh. 'I know who you are, Dan,' she muttered, feeling a small smile creep up her face too.

'Do you?' he challenged, bringing her eyes back to him.

'Yeah, I do. You're Lonely Boy, right?' she joked, and he grinned wider, knowing that his distraction worked. She was smiling again, and that became so rare, that, to him, it was worth a fortune. She pressed her palms on his chest, feeling the soft fabric of the shirt he wore fold beneath her skin. 'You're Dan Humphrey, the man I'm in love with,' she whispered, on a more serious note. Her arms unintentionally found their way around his neck, while his wrapped around her waist, bringing her closer to him. 'You're the only one I can honestly say I depend on. You're the one I trust because you're the one that really knows me, and I feel like I know you, too,' she declared, and while the smile on her face never broke, faint tears brimmed the corner of her eyes.

He caressed her cheek with the tips of his fingers, catching the droplets of water when they fell. That way, her face remained perfect.

'So, then, you should know that I'm not one to care what others say about me. I didn't care the first time we were together, when people around us didn't consider me enough, when CeCe gave me the whole 'charity case' speech, and I don't care now. You should know that to me, being with you matters more than anything; that the only friends I need are those that care enough about me to know that I have to be with you to be truly happy. But, most importantly, you must know that I love you too much to let anything separate us again, be it whatever.'

She felt stupid. Again. How could she have doubted him? He hadn't given her any reason to, in fact, it had been quite the opposite with him. He supported her, trusted her, been there for her when others chose to abandon her. He could make her feel safe simply by wrapping his arm around her. Even now, the way he looked at her, his eyes spoke too many words that only her heart could understand.

'I'm sorry, I was being irrational. Of course I know all of these things. I just...'

'Serena, I don't want you to justify yourself,' he interrupted her. 'I understand,' he whispered, and rested his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes, relishing in the moment, breathing in his familiar scent. She allowed her lips to mould against his again and again, while one of her hands stuck greedily to his face. Every single inch of her body seemed to be connected to his, and it seemed like the air was getting hotter around them.

They suddenly froze when insistent knocks in the divide that separated them and Lily, who sat in the front seat of the limo, interrupted them.

'That's enough, you too,' she said, her voice hear much too loud and clear. 'Just because I accept you being together doesn't mean I want to hear it. I mean that, by the way,' she continued, and lowered the window between the two halves of the car. She stared at Dan briefly in the rear-view mirror, but her meaningful glare stuck on Serena, whose back was conveniently turned towards her. 'Just remember, Serena, your room and Dan's room are on either side of my room. And I'm a very light sleeper.' She shut the window again, and Dan started laughing softly, uniting their foreheads again. But Serena didn't laugh; she just smiled, the corners of her lips curved into a beautiful smile that didn't feel alive. It hurt him to see her that way; broken.

'You know,' he said, helping her move her legs onto one side, so that they rested on the seat next to her again. She laid her head on his chest, with one of her palms flat by her face. 'I still love that little laugh of yours,' he reminded her, playing with loose strands of her hair. 'I hope I'll hear it again soon,' he muttered, lowering his hand to the nape of her neck, stroking the soft skin there. In response, she lifted her head just a little, enough to reach the spot where his jaw ended underneath his ear and press a tender kiss there. Then, she returned her head to the comfortable position on his chest and closed her eyes, trying to even recall the sound of her own laughter.

xoxoxoxoxo

When they arrived in New York, it was late at night, but the blinding lights that decorated the city made it seem like daytime. The buildings attracted the eyes of everyone that could see them, but Dan was distracted by the beautiful blond that slept in his arms. He couldn't break his gaze from her face, that only looked peaceful when she was controlled by unconsciousness. The hand she previously laid on his chest slid around him, her fingers gripping on the back of his shirt without any effort on her part.

The limo stopped, and when Lily loudly gasped 'Oh, my God', Dan knew they were at the not-so-humble van der Woodsen abode.

'Okay, Dan, you ready?' she asked but didn't give him a chance to answer. Her door opened and she stepped out into the mass of flashlights and strident repetitions of her name. He knew he had exactly two seconds to prepare for what was waiting for him, for _them_, out there. When the time was up, the driver opened his door, and he stepped out with a very unaware Serena cradled into his embrace.

The shouts were deafening, the lights brighter than anything he had ever experienced before. 'Serena, over here, Serena,' they shouted, and he hid her sleeping face underneath his arm, protecting her from the brutality around them. Led by the driver and Vanya, who was barking insults in a different language, Dan made his way into the building, succeeding in keeping what he loved most safe. Before he stepped into the elevator, he took the liberty of bending his head just enough to let his lips linger over her forehead.

He laid her into her bed and removed her shoes, placing them carefully by the bedside table. Gently, he slid the jeans she wore down her legs, his knuckles creating a continuous line down the soft skin he uncovered. Without thinking too much about it, he took off his own shoes and shirt, and slipped into the bed beside her, wrapping the blanket around them both, making sure every inch of her skin was hidden from the cold of the night. He propped his head on his arm, only to continue to watch her sleep. His free arm wrapped around her waist, slowly moving her closer, and she shifted unconsciously, tangling her legs with his. Her arm was bent between them, the palm of her hand resting over his heart. If she were awake, she would have felt it beat only for her.

'You really love her, don't you?' Lily's voice broke the silence from where she stood by the door. She walked over to the armchair in the room, giving him time to smile at the concept.

'Of course I do,' he whispered, never moving his eyes from his beloved.

'I don't know whether you know that I am happy for you, I really am. But you must understand why I would be concerned about this relationship. Dan, your father and I are married. You have no idea what social scandal you're getting yourselves into. It will...'

Only then did he shift his gaze towards Lily, and she saw how determined he was just by glancing into his eyes for a second.

'You have no reason to be worried. I love Serena too much to allow anything between us again. We will be strong enough this time to deal with you and Rufus, and the media and whatever else. I just want you to give us a chance this time to work through everything. I need you to believe in us.'

Lily shook her head, her mouth curved into the same beautiful smile he would see on Serena's face. 'Dan, I've always known you have a special place in Serena's heart. You take up most of it. I know she loves you, and I really wish that is enough, because I love your father, too. And that's something you're going to have to work around.'

'We will. I told her once, you and Rufus are your own thing, something that we would keep in a box, with a tight lid, which we would bury deep in a hole at the bottom of the ocean. We're going to have to get to that sometimes soon,' he said, and returned his gaze onto Serena.

Lily laughed slowly, and got up from her chair. 'I'll let you two to sleep. No funny business, Mr Humphrey,' she joked, and heard Dan chuckle under his breath.

'Hey, before you go, I just need to know,' he said, and Lily turned around to face them again. They looked so...right. Like an entity. They were Dan and Serena, and she hoped nothing would change that again. She wanted her daughter to have a chance at love and happiness. 'How did you find us?' Dan asked, capturing Lily's attention again.

'Let's just say the next time you try to run away together, don't make a 500 dollar payment to 'Hampstead Homes and Co' with my card.'

xoxoxo

She reluctantly slid out of bed when she woke up and realised she was alone. She dragged her feet on the ground, determined to find Dan and take him back to her bed, wrap his arms around her and lie there, with him whispering soft nothings in her ear, like he had done many times before.

She found him sitting at the dining table, his attention focused on something in front of him. Softly, she tip-toed behind him, placing her palms on his back. He jumped, and folded the newspaper he was reading, quickly, before she could lay her eyes on the headline.

'Hey, you're up,' Dan said and stood up, taking her hands in his.

'Yeah, and apparently so are you. And you have been for a lot longer than necessary. What do you think about breakfast in bed?' she suggested, snaking her arms around his neck.

'That sounds great, darling, but the hearing is in two hours. You have to get ready,' Lily interrupted from behind them.

'Wait, the hearing is today?' she asked, not sure whether she wanted to hear the answer to that question.

'Yes, and you're supposed to attend. I had the staff make you a very filling breakfast and set the new suit I got you on your bed. We have no time to waste,' she stated, and left the room, loudly calling Rufus' name.

Serena flopped into Dan's arms, and he only tightened his grip on her.

'I know,' he soothed, 'but it's all going to be over soon. You have to be strong for now,' he encouraged, and pressed a soft skin to her temple. 'Come, let's get some food into you.' He led her by her hand to the chair he previously occupied and sat her on his lap, smoothing her hair with his fingers, while plates of food were set in front of them.

'Try this,' he encouraged, holding a fork full of waffles close to her mouth.

She ate it, and smiled softly when their eyes joined. It had been so long since they met, and she could still feel the same thing when she looked into them; she could still see the same thing in them. Just by melting green with brown, Serena experienced true love. Acting on impulse, she pressed her palms to his cheeks, holding his head still as she leant in to kiss him. Softly, gently, tenderly. Perfectly. All of her emotions were poured into that kiss, and Dan knew that. He smiled against her lips, just letting her know he did. They broke away, allowing Dan to pepper the exposed skin of her neck and shoulder with his lips, remembering an old routine.

She sighed when he stopped, wishing he didn't have to. She took the fork in her hand and started picking at the waffle.

'So, what was it that you were reading when I came in earlier?' she casually asked, munching on some food.

He hoped she hadn't noticed, or, at least, forgot about that. She didn't need to know just yet. She could go through at least today without knowing this, and there was no reason why he couldn't keep her away from it. Except for the fact that he knew Serena, and she wouldn't make it so easy for him.

'It was nothing. Last week's New Yorker. I just wanted to see what I missed when we were away. You know, Global Warming, another recession, world war three, stuff like that.' He suddenly seemed far too tense for Serena to believe that.

'Okay, Dan, you're rambling, so that means you're hiding something,' she said, and quickly jumped off his lap, lunging for the newspaper at the opposite end of the table. Before he could even reach her, she skilfully unfolded it, only to be hit hard in the face by the massive headline on the front page.

_Serena van der Woodsen keeps it in the family, _it said, and a very clear picture of a distressed Dan carrying her inside the building followed it.

'Serena, you don't have to read that. You mustn't worry about more than one thing at the time, and you shouldn't have to. Right now, the trial is more important than anything some stupid paparazzo used to pay for his psychiatric therapy. Please, let it go,' he said, placing his hands on her waist.

'No, wait, they can't really tell we're dating from that picture only. I mean, you could be dropping me home from a party for all they know,' she said, her tone monotonous. It made it hard for him to understand what she was feeling at that moment.

She continued to read, hoping the rest would prove her theory. Not surprisingly, it didn't.

_New York's 'it' girl Serena van der Woodsen was photographed last night outside the building of her Upper East Side residence. Preceded by her mother, Misss van der Woodsen was carried into the building into the arms of ex-boyfriend and current step-brother Daniel Humphrey. The latter seemed very concerned for the former party-girl, and only moments later, very affectionate towards the 19-year-old._

_Miss van der Woodsen has recently been the victim of yet another drug-related drama that, surprisingly, has been proven to not have been her own fault. A court hearing has been set to take place today, where the fate of the person responsible for the socialite's overdose will be decided. All in all, it is just another normal day in the van der Woodsen – Bass – Humphrey household. _

The article was followed by another picture of Dan, when he kissed her while she slept. Normally, she would have smiled at a photo like that, but the anger caught up with her, and she threw the newspaper on the table, failing to control her hands as they shook. Tears formed in her eyes, but she couldn't blink to allow them to fall. They were trapped there; just like she was in a world she was starting to resent. The only one that kept her somewhat sane was Dan, and she couldn't even master the calm to lean on him, appreciate his support.

'I'm sorry, Serena. It was reckless of me to kiss you then...'

'This is what I was talking about, Dan. This is just the beginning of the horrible things they will write about us. They will manipulate everything, turn anything into something worth printing. That's why I didn't want to come back, why I would have stayed there...with you...I just don't know what to do, how to protect you from something that I couldn't even protect myself from. I...' 'Serena, who are you more concerned for, me or you? You know I don't care about the tabloids, but you do, and you're worried about what you're going to read on the front page of tomorrow's news. You're scared, and I understand that. But don't let them hurt you. Don't let them achieve their lowlife goals. Walk with your head high, show them they can't touch you. Don't give them the satisfaction.'

She buried her face in his chest, hoping that if she couldn't see anything, nothing could see her. For the first time in her life, Serena wished she was irrelevant.

'I want to be strong enough, I just don't think I am...'

'You will be. Once all of the drama around you ends, tonight. And until then, I will be right here, holding your hand, fighting alongside you. But for right now, you need to take things one at a time, and next on our schedule is a date with justice,' Dan joked, swaying their bodies from side to side.

_**A/N**__: Okay, I am becoming increasingly unhappy with what I write. I mean, I have a plot sorted out, but I write so much around it, the chapters would be too long if I were to write something exciting in each. Tell me if you want less fluffy, thoughtful crap and more action, and I'll _try_ to comply. Thanks for still reading this! x_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N:**__ I'm SO sorry for not posting this chapter sooner, but I was on holiday for three weeks, and the promised free Wi-Fi at the hotel was not only not free, but inexistent. So I've posted this as soon as I got home, and I can only hope you like it, even though I am not so sure I do._

**Chapter Six: Mended **

Dan paced back and forth in front of the largest wooden double doors he had ever seen. His hands were clasped behind him, the nerves he experienced causing his palms to sweat. Each step that he took echoed loudly around him, accentuating the loneliness and making the wait longer.

_Court in session,_ said the sign above the door, in large red letters that seemed to mock him. It was so hard, letting her go. She looked so helpless, so scared, she needed someone to hold her hand while the interrogations took place, rub her back when she was brought face to face with Juliet, the person who caused her so much harm and misery.

He listened to the quiet, even though he didn't want to know what was happening inside. Maybe it _was_ better for him to stay on the outside. Maybe Serena needed that refuge from the madness, someone to talk to who wasn't as much a part of it as everyone else in that room. As much as he wanted to hear the words Juliet, Sharp and guilty in one sentence, he considered the idea that maybe not hearing them would be better for Serena. And, after all, she was the one that actually mattered to him.

The doors opened, and people filtered out of the courtroom, an aura of whispers and other meaningless conversation following them. Lily appeared and stopped beside him, gripping the side of his arm with a smile on her face. Although Serena was nowhere to be seen, that lifted a great weight off his chest that he didn't even know he had. Until then, he didn't realise he was actually worried about the way the trial would turn out, as he never doubted what Serena said. He believed in her, and he was proven again that he had been right in doing so. Lily was pulled along by other women, and congratulations were shared between them.

Then she came. Although she didn't smile, her eyes shone for the first time in a long while. They looked free, relieved. The fact that it didn't translate to the rest of her face or body didn't concern Dan. He realised she just needed time to process this, understand it was finally over. She would be able to mend herself back into who she had been before, and he would be there to help her.

'Hey,' he spoke when she arrived by his side. 'I think congratulations are in order,' he continued, taking her hand into his.

'Can we go outside? I need some fresh air.' Her voice was low, but strong, and as much as he didn't want to, he needed to challenge her request.

'Are you sure that's a good idea? It's packed with paparazzi outside.'

'There's always a back door,' she said, and pulled him by the hand, hoping to find it.

Once they walked down the first two steps outside the building, Serena stopped and took a sharp intake of oxygen, as if her lungs were released from under great pressure. As if she resurfaced from underneath a deep ocean and took that very necessary breath of air to keep her alive. She didn't speak, neither did he. He just watched her look over the horizon, and she was just about able to make out the outlines of the many trees in Central Park. 

Unexpectedly, she took her shoes off, and held them in one hand, gripping Dan's hand in the other. She started running, dragging him behind her. They sped down the busy New York streets, knocking into people but not stopping to apologise. He had no idea what she was thinking or doing at that moment, but it didn't matter as much as the fact that she chose to do it with him. That was enough for him to follow her to the ends of the world and back, if that was what she wanted.

Her destination became clear to him once the big gates of Central Park were getting closer and closer to them. They ran on the famous paths of the park and Dan could barely overcome his happiness when Serena stopped in front of their bench and placed her shoes on it. She turned around to face him, and when she saw the blinding smile plastered on his face, she couldn't not return it; or, at least, a smaller version of it. His arms automatically moved around her, bringing her close. She placed her hands on either side of his face, the same way she had done so many times before, so long ago. It was so easy to rediscover everything, to fall into the familiar routines, and she could only think of one reason for that – they loved each other.

'It's all over now, Dan. Things will get better around here, and I finally feel able to think about what I _want_ to do, not what I need to.' She looked into his eyes, repeating it, only not with words. 'I want to be in a real relationship with you, I want to be yours, I want us to achieve that 'forever' we promised each other. I don't care about anything else but being with you, and I'm going to prove that. I just need you to bear with me until I do.' Her voice was soft, almost as if she was whispering.

'Serena, you don't need to prove anything to me.'

'No, I know I do. Every time we got back together, I was the one to mess it all up, and I just can't find a satisfactory way to justify or apologise to you right now, but this is a fresh start, a clean slate, and I have no intention in staining it.'

A clean slate. What a great concept.

'So, I thought since we were starting new again, this would be the best place to do it. It means a lot to both of us, it holds many incredible memories. It is special, just as our relationship is.' She saw him smile even wider, the corners of his lips being dangerously close to touching his ears. Inspired by the moment, by the inexplicable way she felt at that moment, enveloped in her love's embrace, Serena spoke the thought that she kept thinking.

'I love you, Dan. Very, very much,' she said, and lifted herself on her tiptoes so that she could press her mouth against his. In the instant that their lips met, the past was sealed with that kiss, opening doors for a new beginning.

xoxoxo

He laid on the bench, cradling Serena to his chest. Although she wore a coat, Dan wrapped her tightly with his, making sure she was warm. The sun had almost set, glimpses of stars somewhere far away being visible on the dark sky. It was oddly quiet around them, something that wasn't neither expected nor hoped in the heart of New York City. They could just enjoy being with each other, feel each other's hearts beat in unison, keep their fingers interlocked by his side, while time would simply fly by them.

She wriggled in his arms, bringing her face closer to his, their gazes locking as their eyes met. She touched her lips to his jaw, once, twice, feeling his free hand roam over her back.

'It's getting late. I think we should go home and, you know, maybe celebrate. I was thinking Scrabble; my vocabulary has seriously improved during the past few days. I am positive I could kick your butt.' He returned her smile, and helped her sit up, lifting his body with hers. Without speaking, he picked up her shoes, easing each of her feet tenderly into them. When he was done, he helped her to her feet, and smoothed the hair out of her face, just so he could ponder over her angelic features a bit more.

'Serena, I would love to take you home right now and prove that little theory of yours wrong, but I think there is something that you must do before that.'

'Hey, thank you for bringing me here,' she said, allowing her fingers to caress the skin of the hand she was so tightly gripping. 'I really wanted and needed to do this, I just didn't have the strength, or the energy.'

'I know. Everyone needs their best friend,' Dan said, as the doors of the elevator closed, and they started climbing to the penthouse.

When the doors opened again, the familiar sight of the Waldorf hallway filled Serena's heart with anticipation. She wasn't sure what was going to happen, what she was supposed to do. She knew she would have wanted an apology from Blair, but having her best friend back was more important. She was willing to forgive and forget, just so she could have the girl she had always considered her sister wrapped in her embrace. As they turned the corner, Dan and Serena noticed the room was empty. No one occupied the luxurious canapés, no macaroons were consumed on the dining room table, the TV didn't show the well known ending to 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'. Blair hadn't been there, and that worried Serena. It was late enough at night to know that, unless she was lying against Chuck's chest, which suddenly seemed possible, Blair could have only been at home, getting ready for her beauty sleep.

Serena's thoughts were disrupted by a relievingly familiar voice, echoing down the stairs.

'Dorota, I thought I made myself clear when I said I didn't want to see anyone,' Blair shouted, clearly annoyed. When she glanced over the balustrade, to see who dared to go against her wishes, she heard herself gasp at the sight of her best friend, waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.

'Serena,' she whispered, gripping the banister as her legs froze in shock. A sudden impulse, fuelled by the relief she couldn't stop feeling, she sprinted down the remaining steps, wrapping her arms tighter than she thought possible around the person she had worried so much about. When Serena reciprocated the embrace, Blair allowed her frustrations to flow out of her in a wave of uncontrollable sobs.

'Shh, Blair,' Serena soothed, fighting back tears of her own. 'I'm here, and I missed you so much.'

'How could you leave me? I thought I would lose you that night, and then you suddenly disappeared! I was so scared, Serena. Last time that happened, I didn't hear from you in a year. I can't even try to imagine having to live without you once more...' Blair spoke, her voice surprisingly loud through the thick barrier that was Serena's shoulder.

'I'm so sorry, B.'

'Sorry is not enough for me. You have to promise me you will never do this to me again. Please,' she begged, her pleas mumbled into Serena's coat.

'Blair, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just needed to leave, escape, only for a few days. I needed to get away from everything that was just impossible to deal with. But now everything is sorted, and I can have a fresh start. A clean slate.'

Blair pushed away from Serena, looking like she liked what she was hearing.

'Wait, so you were coming back? You didn't leave for good? I thought...' She wasn't sure what she thought. She couldn't think clearly when the only thing that haunted her mind was that Serena, her best friend, whom she almost lost, disappeared.

'Of course not. I couldn't do that. I just needed a break, and Dan offered me a way out. I needed to recharge my batteries.'

Blair let out a laugh that was weakened by the fragile state she felt she was in. Even so, Dan considered it her meanest laugh yet.

'And you decided to have this clean slate of yours with _him_?' she asked in mocked horror, pointing the tip of her slightly red nose towards Dan. He chuckled softly underneath his breath, glad to see things finally begin to return to the relative normal they were.

'He chose me too,' Serena said, and stole a glimpse towards Dan, capturing his eyes with hers for the briefest of seconds.

'Ugh, please, cut the lovey-dovey crap, at least in my house,' Blair moaned. 'I can't believe you two are back together again,' she muttered under her breath, quietly enough to pretend it was just for her ears, but loudly enough for Serena to hear her.

'Ok, B,' Serena said, acting as if she hadn't heard the last bit. She decided to change the topic of that conversation. 'I have so much to tell you. I'm sure you'll love to hear all about the trial today.'

'About how that lying, social climbing bitch got exactly what she deserved? I'm all ears,' she replied, and the two girls laughed together, while Serena wiped the tears off her best friend's cheeks.

xoxoxo

'Thank you very much for today. It was a very weird day for me. I couldn't have done it without you,' Serena whispered, as Dan slipped into her bed, beside her. He held her to his chest, and she wrapped her arms around his waist instinctively, playing aimlessly with the hem of the T-shirt he wore.

'I knew you and Blair would make up at some point, I just speeded up the process. You needed your best friend,' he spoke, sliding the tip of his nose along her temple.

'Just for the record, you are my best friend, too. It just so happens you are also my boyfriend now. And my step-brother, but I don't care about that. It doesn't make us who we are. Our parents might be defined by their relationship, but we're not. I want people to know me as Dan's girlfriend, not his sister.'

'Well, you're doing a great job, because I know it, and you know it, and Blair, Lily, Rufus, Eric, a lot of people know it,' he said, in between soft kisses on her cheek, her jaw, the tip of her nose.

She smiled. 'You know, as my best friend, you get to hear all about my problems, and have to share some of your wisdom with me, to help me deal with them. But as my boyfriend, there are a lot more things that we can do together.'

'Really?' he replied, challenging her. 'Explain that, please.'

She pressed her lips against his, hard, and moved so that she was now on top of him, showing him one of those things. His hands gripped greedily around her waist, claiming what was finally his. He lifted their bodies together, allowing Serena to hook her legs around him as he sat in the middle of the bed. They didn't interrupt their kiss, not breaking the passion and need they shared, as their lips moved together in ways they never had. Even though their feelings hadn't changed since the first time they kissed, some things were new and exciting between them. New routines were to be made, the old ones becoming wonderful memories.

Her hands moved to her shoulder, sliding the strap of the dress she wore off it. Dan stilled his lips and brought their foreheads together, keeping the sides of their noses touching, when he realised what she was doing. When their eyes met, he saw she was confused at first, but then she let her insecurities take over, as she looked away from him. She had been so happy earlier, he almost forgot that she was hurt, and that the damage was still weakening her.

'Are we really gonna do this?' he asked, as he did many years ago, when they made love for the first time. When everything was so new, so unexpected, just as it was now, when they were rekindling their lost love.

She smiled again, remembering instances of that perfect night. How excited, how safe, how happy she felt. How easy it was, which made now seem so complicated. She couldn't help but blame herself for it; if she hadn't hid her past with Georgina away from Dan, then they would have never broken up, and if they hadn't broken up, then their parents wouldn't be married at that moment.

But what was done was done, and she was a firm believer of second, or fourth, chances. She was just glad that she even had the opportunity at one.

Serena skimmed her hands down his chest, her fingers gripping the bottom of his T-shirt.

'Yeah,' she whispered, and gently lifted the top, revealing the strong planes of his stomach. Her eyes never left his, making the moment that bit more intimate. The way they looked at each other, it was something inexplicable about it. She threw the top by the bed, placing her newly freed hands on the skin of his back, bringing his body closer to her. She hid her head in the crook of his neck, and it didn't surprise her when the two still fit. Like they were made together.

His palms covered her knees, the tips of his fingers wrapping around her thighs. He remembered how much he adored the perfect fullness of them, how they were so different to the skinny legs of the majority of the girls around him. How _she_ was so different; how there was no one like her. He moved his hands higher, continuing in a soft path over her hips. The bottom of her dress raised as his hands moved further up, and soon enough, a small pool of lace and silk was created beside his top. He took a second to admire the lingerie and the perfect body that wore it. He realised he had used that word, 'perfect', many times when thinking about her.

Serena smiled shyly, when she noticed the way he stared at her. The way no one else ever did. She pressed one hand flat over his cheek, her fingers playing aimlessly with the end of his ear.

'Stop looking at me that way,' she whispered, closing her eyes.

'What way?' he asked, unaware of having seen her any differently than he had always had.

'You know what way. The way that makes me feel special, and perfect. The way I'm not sure I deserve.'

He didn't let her know the frustration and slight anger he felt hearing her say that. He ended that, to him, irrelevant conversation effectively.

'Serena, stop talking, and come here.'

As soon as their lips met once again, there were no more words spoken.

xoxoxo

She barely dared to open her eyes once the brightness outside her eyelids became too strong. She blinked a few times, trying to accommodate them to what she had hoped would be the sight of a peaceful looking, asleep Dan. But, instead, she saw an empty half of a bed. She flung her legs off the edge of the mattress, her toes touching the cold floor and giving her the jolt she needed to jump out of the comfortable fort underneath the bed sheets. Feeling the need to cover her body before she exited the room, she remembered every second of the night before. Every touch, every kiss, every inch of his skin covering hers, the sweet nothings he whispered to her afterwards, as he cradled her in his arms. She couldn't help but laugh softly to herself as she buttoned the last of one of his shirts.

'This is the first real laugh I've heard from you in quite some time.' His voice startled her, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, her back pressed tightly against his chest. 'You still laugh like a four year old. I'm glad.'

'Well, if you knew why I was laughing, you would probably laugh too. And the age four is highly inappropriate for my topic of choice.'

'Let's talk about it,' he suggested, walking gently towards the side of the bed, taking Serena with him.

'How about we talk about your new, irritating custom, of leaving our bedroom before I wake up. I don't particularly like it,' she said, and she turned to face him.

'Firstly, Serena, this is not _our_ bedroom, it's _yours_. I have mine just down the hall,' he explained as he tucked a rebellious strand of her hair behind her ear.

'Yeah, I think after last night's christening, it could never just be mine again.' She giggled, and hid her head in his chest, slightly embarrassed of what she said.

He laughed too at their little inside joke, and bent slightly so that he could kiss the top of her head.

'Secondly,' he continued, and she lifted her eyes to look at him. 'I had a very good reason to bolt this morning. I had to speak to Lily before she left this morning.'

She pushed away a little, only so that she could make him see her amused face. 'Dan, I know that my mom might like you, and that you might have a slightly special relationship, but since when do you have heart–to–hearts?'

'Since I had to ask her if I could steal her daughter, and take her on a romantic getaway to our small, but fully equipped apartment in Hampstead. Of course, the idea was presented to her as 'taking you out of the city for a week, and, hey, we know a place that we could rent, so can we go'.'

'What?' she asked, the sarcasm in her voice gone.

'You know how, when Lily came to take you back to New York, she said that we could go on another vacation once everything was settled. Well, if I were you, I would start packing, because the car will be here at five.'

'Really?' she asked, locking her arms around his neck, and placing her palms on each of her elbows, something she didn't even realise she did.

'Yeah, I kind of thought you roughed it enough on the bus, during our fugitive days.'

They laughed together, and Serena brought their heads closer, uniting their mouths slowly.

'Thank you,' she whispered against his lips.

xoxoxo

Her phone vibrated on the table, and she was happy to leave the stubborn suitcase waiting while she read the text.

'I'm guessing you need help with your stuff,' Dan spoke as he walked down the hall from his room to hers. 'I figured that out once you stopped shouting at it and started begging.'

'I'm fine, thanks, I only stopped to read this text from Blair; I texted her earlier to tell her what we were doing so that she wouldn't worry, or hear it from someone else. You know how she gets.'

'It's always nice to hear from Blair,' he said sarcastically, and walked over to Serena to peck her cheek. The gesture was so simple, and yet it meant so much. She cherished every form of contact she had with him, be it even the slightest of brushes of their hands, as they both reached for the same thing on the table.

'She says that you better stay at a hotel that's at least half a mile away from mine. She also suggests that you get a cold while we're there, so that we come home early.'

'As I said, it's always nice to hear from Blair,' he repeated, and walked towards the thing that looked like a wardrobe on wheels.

Once Serena finished her reply, she saw Dan sit on her suitcase, arms crossed over his chest.

'Aww, thank you.' She threw her phone on the bed and walked towards him. He extended his arms in front of her, and she took his hands within her own, their fingers knitted together.

'Come here,' he instructed, and she knew what he meant. She sat on his lap and leaned against his chest, her head hidden under his chin. Was there any way to describe how happy she felt at that moment? Was there any way to explain how she could be so upset and damaged one day, and then suddenly find a level of happiness and love to change her so drastically? Her life had mostly been about extremes. She went from a very troubled teenager to someone she could be proud of in a short period of time, and she had tried so hard to show everyone that. This massive change had been a large, challenging part of her adolescent life, and she suddenly realised that she would have never done it if she didn't have the right person beside her. It was Dan that helped her turn her life around, just as he helped her get through the difficulty and hurt of the past weeks. He had been there and that had given her the strength to change. He believed in her, and that had given her reason to.

'Serena, darling, are you ready to go?' Lily's voice penetrated the quiet from the living room.

'Time to go,' she said, and jumped off Dan's lap, pulling him up with her.

'Serena, you do realise I said one week, not one year,' he joked, as he put all the energy he had into moving something that seemed immovable.

She just laughed as they made their way into the front room. Lily kissed Dan's cheek, muttering something like 'take care of her' when she pulled away.

'Always,' he replied, and Lily looked pleased with the answer.

Then, she wrapped her arms around her daughter, cradling her to her chest. She wasn't the easiest person to talk to, and Serena knew that better than anyone, but she knew how to show her affections well, and neither one of her children could say otherwise.

'Have fun, sweetheart. You deserve to,' she said, and kissed her daughter's cheeks as they pulled away. 'But not too much fun. Can I just say, I know that I'm a bit too late when it comes to you and Dan, and what you two do together, but there are many other things that you could do to pass the time. Dan is a genius at Scrabble; you could try and beat him. Or you could take walks, watch TV, even read.' When she saw Serena's embarrassed and not exactly confused look, Lily knew she had to continue. 'I mean, I would really appreciate it if the next time I wake up in the middle of the night to grab a glass of water, I'm not forced to hide my head underneath the pillows, thirsty, due to noises coming from one of your bedrooms.' Her eyebrows raised and her glance moved from Serena to Dan. He looked down; it seemed his idea of a little 'inside joke' wasn't little, inside or a joke anymore. He wanted to laugh, but controlled himself, even though the situation seemed oddly amusing to him.

'Serena, I'm gonna help take the luggage downstairs,' he muttered and sprinted for the elevator.

Once they were alone, Serena noticed Lily's smile and she returned it.

'Mom, you scared him off!'

'Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?'

They laughed together, and Serena hugged her mother one last time. 'I'll miss you, Mom,' she spoke in her shoulder, and then they separated.

'Oh, hello, Vanya. Is everything ready outside?' Lily suddenly said, while her daughter grabbed her coat.

'Yes, Mrs Humphrey, but I am here to speak with Miss Serena before she leaves. There is someone waiting for her downstairs.'

_**A/N: **__Okay, well, this is it for now. A new chapter will be posted as soon as I write it. Please review, I would love some feedback on this. Thank you! xx_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: Visitor **

'For me? I'm not expecting anyone. Who is it?'

'A gentleman called 'Ben'. He said it's urgent that you see him.'

'Darling, I have to go,' Lily said, and pecked her daughter's cheek.

Her mother's suddenly restless tone intrigued Serena. 'Is everything okay?' she asked, but received no answer, as Lily disappeared through the doors of the elevator.

'Miss Serena, what do you want me to say to strange man downstairs?'

'Vanya, I don't know anyone called 'Ben'. Tell him he's got the wrong person,' she said, and turned around to grab her bag and finally leave the toxicity of the city. Even if only for a few days.

'I thought you might say that, which is why I thought I should escort myself up here, no thanks to your supposed doorman,' a different voice spoke, causing Serena to jump.

When she laid her eyes on him, it felt like her lungs suddenly turned to concrete and she couldn't breathe. She hadn't seen him since...that night. A long time ago. He didn't seem different, but as Serena stared at him, trying to justify his presence in her apartment, she saw the changes. His eyes, once soft and comforting, seemed hard, as if they had been punished by the intricacy of a lifetime; his angelic features were roughened, his face hidden behind harsh angles and under shadows.

'Ben Donovan, is that you?' Her voice was weakened by shock. She had never expected to ever see him again after the way things ended between them.

'See, I knew she'd remember me,' he told Vanya, who could barely contain his frustrations over the fact that the stranger had failed to do as told.

It subconsciously hurt her; his voice. She still remembered all the times he read to her at Knightley, every word he spoke to her, the way his gentle tone would just pour over her wounds and heal them. Now it was like the nightmare to what was once a beautiful dream. She loved him; she thought she couldn't love anyone more. But all that had changed once she met Dan, and only now she realised how immature she had been then. She believed Ben was it for her, only to be proven wrong when her heart was stolen by Dan and she felt things never encountered before. She experienced true love instead of infatuation.

'It's okay, Vanya. Could you give us a minute?'

'Sure, Miss Serena,' he muttered, and left the same way her mother did.

Once they were alone, she didn't know what to say to him, how to react to him being there. Was he expecting something from her, or was he just in the neighbourhood?

'Please, sit down,' she indicated, as she flopped onto the nearest sofa. 'Ben, I don't mean to be rude, but what are you doing here, in New York? Aren't you teaching in Connecticut?'

'Serena, I haven't been a teacher in three years,' he said, his damaged voice becoming sharper, as if what he said was paining him.

She couldn't believe that. 'Why?'

'Who would hire someone who was in prison for three years?' He looked away. He was ashamed. To Serena, none of this made any sense.

'You were in prison?' she muttered, her voice oddly calm for the question she was asking.

'Yeah. For statutory rape of a minor. You.' His eyes moved back to hers, and she saw something else in them this time. Anger. And that scared her, but it didn't affect her as much as the words that she had just processed.

'What? Ben, that's impossible. We both know you never touched me. How could you go to prison for something that you didn't do? It's not fair.'

It surprised her that he could hear her voice. It was so weak, even she wasn't sure that she actually said what she was thinking.

'Not fair? It's disgustingly unjust, if you ask me,' he shouted and stood up from his armchair, the sudden movement pushing it further behind him. The screech made by the wood against the polished floor seemed louder in the deafening silence that followed. 'I just don't understand why you did this to me, Serena. What I ever did to make you destroy my life. How have I ever stepped out of line, when I was the one to reject you that night at the motel?'

She didn't want to cry, but she couldn't stop the tears from falling. She didn't understand what he was saying, what he was accusing her of. At the same time, she couldn't believe what happened to him. How a talented teacher like him, how such a good man could have ever been punished for such an unforgivable thing.

'Ben, I don't...'

'Please don't lie, not to my face. I saw the affidavit, Serena, and the signature. It was yours.'

She got up from her chair and walked over to him. 'Ben, look at me,' she ordered, and when he did, she saw his eyes drowning in a small pool of water. For a second, she thought they looked like they did all those years ago, but that changed immediately, when he wiped the evidence with the back of his hand.

'Ben, I swear to you, I never signed anything that condemned you of something. I never had any reason to. I swear I didn't do it.' She whispered the last part, and dropped her head, so that she didn't have to see his broken face anymore.

'Then explain to me, how did I end up behind bars for three years? Why was I told that I had no chance against you in court, as there was a witness? Why did I have to agree to a damned plea bargain, as your mother didn't want the story to get out? I remember everything, Serena, except for the part which you accused me of.'

She listened and understood. When she considered it once more, it seemed like a cruel, evil, master plan, it seemed impossible, but as she contemplated again and again, it suddenly didn't sound so farfetched anymore.

'It was my mother. She did it. She faked my signature on the affidavit,' she eventually spoke, defeated by a truth that destroyed her even more than dealing with Juliet. Every word that came out of her mouth seemed to hurt her, as if it was coated in razors, cutting into her throat as she talked. She had always known that her mother had a dark side, and she had never thought about exploring it, but never would she have ever suspected her of being capable of such a heartless act. She couldn't understand what would have made her, what could have made anyone, do this, but she wasn't sure whether she really wanted to know. She also realised why her mother bolted so quickly only a few minutes ago. She couldn't face him, someone whose life she destroyed, and Serena thought it was because she had no way to justify herself to anyone, least of all Ben.

'I'll speak to my mom, and I'll fix it. I'll get your life back, Ben, I promise,' she said, and slid the tips of her fingers across her cheeks, removing the black streaks of water seeping down the smooth surface of her face.

'Serena, I think you and your family have done enough. I didn't come here for a solution. As stupidly as it may sound, I came here for answers, because I spent the last 36 months in a jail cell trying to come up with reasons and explanations of why I was in there. And I couldn't. So, please, just tell me what I need to know, and then you'll never see me again.' His voice was accusing. He blamed her, and although she wasn't the one to put him in prison, she knew she wasn't completely innocent. It was her who started the conversations, it was her who suggested the out-of-hours meetings, it was her who fantasised about ways in which they could have spent their nights together, and it consumed her to think that if she hadn't acted in such a selfish way, then maybe Ben Donovan would still be teaching at Knightley.

'I don't know, Ben! God, I'm sorry that you went to prison, and I'm sorry that I was the reason for that, but please understand that this is excruciating for me too. I don't know what my mom did what she did, but do _you_ know what I'm feeling at this moment, when I've just found out my mother has committed a cruel felony? Do you know how it feels to doubt your mother and what you know about her? Do you have any idea how it is to blame yourself for costing a man his life? Because I know it's my fault, and I'm so sorry, but I...I just...'

'Serena, are you okay?' Dan words seemed to reach her after he did, and he took her in his arms, pressing his lips to the top of her head. He completely ignored Ben, who just watched the blonde collect herself into the boy's embrace. 'What happened?' Dan asked, once Serena pulled away just enough to capture his gaze with hers.

'I will explain everything to you, but first I need to talk to my mom. Do you know where she is?' she asked, her voice stronger.

'No, I saw her leave about twenty minutes ago. She seemed distressed... Is everything okay?'

'I need to fix this,' she stated and skilfully unwrapped her body from Dan's strong hold.

'So I take it we're not going away anymore?' he asked while she rummaged her back for her phone. He did not really care what the answer was. Whether they were here, or in a different state, Dan only wanted to be with her, and he could see that this was important to her. Whatever _this_ was.

She stopped and looked at him. She knew how excited he was about going away together, just the two of them, and she really wanted it to happen too. But she also knew that doing things right by Ben was more important than their trip.

'I'm sorry, Dan,' she whispered, hoping he understood.

He always did. 'Hey, it's okay. We can always go some other time.'

She didn't like the distance between them. It reminded her of bad moments of her life, of loneliness and sadness. And she never wanted to feel that way again.

'Come here,' she said, extending her arms in front of her as wide as possible. She fit her body against his, her hands locked behind his neck, her face buried in the crook of it. She could never describe how safe she felt in his embrace; she acknowledged it every time, but she just couldn't put it into words.

'Thank you for understanding,' she muttered against his skin. 'It's really assuring for me to know I have you by my side on this.'

His hands stroked her back, gently. 'I'll always be here, Serena. Now do what you have to do.'

He watched her walk over to the sofa and sit on it. Her fingers raced over the surface of her phone, as she typed Lily's number. Her legs shook as she waited for an answer, even though she had no idea what to say once the rings would stop. It surprised neither when Lily's voice mail message interrupted the monotonous series of buzzes.

_You have reached Lily Humphrey's voice mail. Unfortunately, I am unable to intercept your call._ _Please leave me a message, and I shall contact you as soon as possible. Thank you. Beep._

Her breath hitched in her throat. What should she begin with? She barely spoke when she realised thirty seconds had already been wasted by silence.

'I know what you did, Mom.' She couldn't let sobs interrupt her, because she knew she wouldn't start again. She just cried empty tears, of frustration, and grief for the innocent man still standing in her living room, as she continued to talk. 'I need to talk to you. I'm waiting for you at the apartment. If you're not here by three o'clock, then I'm talking to the authorities.'

She shut her phone and turned to Dan, who was now sitting beside her, resting a hand on one of her thighs. When he saw her broken face, the red lines and black shadows, he hugged her again, rocking their bodies back and forth soothingly. He placed the side of his head against hers and allowed her to cry, feeling the hot tears soak into his shirt.

He looked over her shoulder and set his eyes on the tall man standing there, watching. He noticed him before, but once he saw Serena was crying, nothing else around him mattered except her. He knew he had to comfort her, and his attention could not have been divided towards anything else. But now it intrigued him; what was he doing here? How did he know Serena? But most importantly, was he the reason she was so upset?

'I'm sorry, we completely ignored you. It's been a few very challenging weeks for us. You are...?'

Serena shifted from his arms, now facing him. 'It's a really long story, Dan, but I need to know that you won't loathe me after I say it to you. It was a long time ago, before I met you, before you changed me into a person I would be proud to be. Please, try to stay open minded about this.'

He brought her hands up to his lips and kissed each one in turn. 'Tell me,' he said, still holding her hands.

xoxoxo

She had known that that time would come at some point. It always does for the type of thing that she did. But she never had wanted to discuss it with Serena. She was the only reason she had done it in the first place, the reason she did a lot of things in her life, and she always wanted to do the right ones. To raise her children the right way. The good intentions were there; she just failed.

She looked at her watch. 2:57. Only a few minutes left until her daughter would turn her own mother in to the authorities. It wasn't Serena's fault; of course not. Well, at least no entirely her fault. No mother wants to blame her children for anything, but Lily couldn't think that if Serena hadn't been so wild and irresponsible back then, naive enough to get involved with a teacher, then none of that mess would have ever happened. If Serena hadn't left for boarding school in the first place, then maybe things would have been completely different. In some ways, she was happy with how her life turned out. She was married to the love of her life, Serena was happy and, most importantly, out of trouble and Eric was healthy. Those aspects of her life seemed fulfilled, but now it was time to face the parts of her that weren't as satisfactory as the rest.

The perfectly aligned hands of the watch forced her to press the button to the elevator that led to the penthouse. She watched the digital numbers on the screen go up, and she wondered which one would equal the number of years she would have to spend behind bars. Even if Serena didn't turn her in, the fact that Ben Donovan was now out of prison raised the chances of her arrest, and she knew it. She wasn't scared; only disappointed. Of herself. Of failing. Of what she had become.

When the doors opened, she just stood there. It seemed Serena hadn't heard her arrive, which gave her a few more seconds to collect her thoughts, brace herself before facing the one thing she hoped would never haunt her. Finally, she stepped out of the elevator, her tall heels making a sound that seemed louder than usual when they touched the floor. She counted the steps, 1, 2, 11, until she could see her daughter sit on the sofa.

'Mom,' she whispered when their eyes met.

_**A/N: **__There we are, another chapter of my story. Thank you to all of my regular readers, I am very grateful to you. Please review and let me know whether you still like it. xx_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Explanations **

'Serena,' Lily greeted her daughter coldly. It hurt her to act like this, but no one really expected a polite greeting, a handshake or a kiss on the cheek. 'Oh, hello, Ben. I honestly never thought I'd see you here. Let me ask you just one question, before my daughter starts throwing accusations in my face, are you at least enjoying yourself, after you have destroyed our family?'

Serena saw from the corner of her eye how his face changed when Lily spoke those words to him. She knew he wouldn't have hurt anyone; he was innocent, inoffensive, an incredible man. What her mother was now accusing him of seemed as ridiculous as the first blame he took. He didn't destroy, he mended. He didn't hurt, he healed. She would know.

'Mom, that's enough,' she spoke, her words almost as strong as the grip she had on Dan's hand. Their fingers released each other, and she walked towards Lily. She wanted to be confident, powerful, determined, or at least seem like she was, but the only feeling she could express was fear. Mostly, she feared for her mother. She couldn't not care that, most probably, in less than 24 hours, Lily would be presented with a criminal record and a large prison sentence. She was scared, and she couldn't hide that anymore. Even so, she couldn't back down now. She had to keep going, get answers, save Ben. She had to, and she would.

'I'm not even going to ask you to tell me that what he said isn't true. Because, not even that deep down anymore, I know it is, Mom, and that's killing me. I am going to ask you only one question, and I want the truth. No more lies, no more secrets, only the real truth. What happened?'

_Her arms were crossed across her chest, the only defence she had. Apart from a good explanation, there was nothing else to redeem her. 'You wanted to come home, and...I wanted you here,' she explained, her eyes never resting on one place for more than a second. 'But when Constance saw your records from Knightley, they wouldn't take you back, and it was the same with all the decent schools. And I was worried about your future, so I went to Knightley, and talked to the administration.' _

_ 'Of course you did.' _

_ 'But when I was on campus, there were some girls gossiping about you,' she continued, her tone lower, like she had said that story a thousand times before. Like she had lived that moment a million times before. 'They said that you had spent the night in a bed and breakfast with one of your teachers.' Serena recognised the voice yet again. She had heard it so many times before, who could forget? 'Serena, I thought I could trust you', or 'Serena, why can't you understand how important this is to our family?' It was like a broken record, playing the same daunting song over and over again. _

_ 'That was just gossip,' she explained, still waiting for a reason good enough to try and justify what she had done. _

_ It didn't come. 'Well, it was gossip I could use to our advantage. I expressed my concern to the school that one of their teachers was having an inappropriate relationship with my underage daughter.' _

_ 'So you sent Ben to prison so I could go to Constance?' _

_ 'Well, no, of course not!' Her voice raised again, and Serena knew her mother did that when she knew she was guilty. 'But after I left, the school...alerted the authorities and then I didn't know what I had said in motion until I was contacted by the DA, and by then it was too late.' _

_ 'What, too late to tell the truth? So you just destroy a man's life, all so you can keep up appearances?' Of course that was what it was all about. What everything in their world was about. It didn't matter what went on behind the scenes. What was important was what people saw, and thought about you. _

_ 'No, I did this for you! For your future! Look, it's not like Mr Donovan was guilt free. He shouldn't have been having an affair with a student!' With this, Lily knew she was right. She knew Serena couldn't have possibly have had a reply to that. _

_ 'But he didn't do anything. Nothing ever happened.' _

_ Well, she expected that. Serena trying to protect, to shield people from harm. Even if it meant hurting others who she didn't consider important enough. Collateral damage. _

_ 'Sweetie, you don't have to protect him.' _

_ 'I'm not protecting him. He never touched me, Mom. You sent an innocent man to prison.' (Gossip Girl, Season 4, Episode 11 'The Townie')_

Lily stared at her daughter. 'No, I didn't. There was a witness, Serena.' Her tone got more authoritative. She knew she was losing that fight, and she couldn't let that happen. She had to make Serena see everything she had done was for _her_. She had to understand.

'Well, whoever it was, they lied. We didn't stay at the bread and breakfast. We sheltered from the rain for a while, and then he drove me home. That was it.'

'No. That's impossible! I...I-I...well, I...'

'Mom, either you do things right by Ben, or the police will. Your call.'

'Well, what does he want? Money? I can give him that.'

'No, ma'am, I don't want your money. What I want back are the last three years of my life, but I guess you can't give me that, can you?' Ben spoke, reminding everyone he was still in the room.

'Then why exactly did you come here? To ruin my family? To destroy my relationship with my daughter? To put _me_ in jail? If you knew I couldn't give you what you wanted, then what the hell are you doing here?'

'I wanted to hear you explain yourself. Justify yourself to me, and to your daughter, for what you've done. I can't say it doesn't hurt to hear what you've just said, but at least now there is a reason for the last few years. At least I didn't live for nothing.' Serena noticed that, although his face was strong and composed, his hands shook. From anger or hurt, she couldn't tell, but it showed that he was feeling something more than he was showing.

'Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to leave. There is no point in me being here anymore. Goodbye, Serena.' He spoke those last words while his eyes bore into hers. Then he walked towards the elevator and disappeared through the closing doors as suddenly as he came.

No one spoke; the shock wouldn't let them. Serena stared at nothing, a small dot on the wall, big enough to see if you concentrated sufficiently on it, but small enough to miss if you blinked. She processed what happened and she realised what didn't. She pushed Dan's arms away, breaking free from his comforting embrace, and ran the same way Ben had only a minute before. She hadn't even noticed the elevator's doors open in the lobby, as she had been worrying about what was to happen next. She ran into the streets, the cold December air slipping underneath her clothes, causing her limbs to tremble. She frantically searched for him, hoping to see even a glance of his coat among the people. She raised herself on her tip-toes, and when she looked again, she saw him. Then she ran. She didn't know why, but she felt like she needed to apologize, make up for something.

'Ben!' she shouted, but he couldn't hear, his name rebounded by those in her way. She was close, but not close enough. 'Ben!' she shouted again, and this time, he stopped. 'Wait,' she asked, and stood a few feet away from him.

'Ben, where are you going?' she asked, guessing what the answer would be.

He sighed, his shoulders slumping low underneath his chin. 'I don't know,' he finally admitted. 'I don't really have anywhere _to_ go.'

'Look, I promised you I would fix things. If you leave now, you're not giving me a chance to. Please, let me help you,' she said, moving closer to him. Her hands gripped her arms, trying to trap some warm air close to her body.

'Serena, as I've said before, I don't need your help.'

'Yes, you do. It's my fault you're here in the first place, so let me make amends for it. Please.'

'I don't need your money, or your mother's money. After all, the judge had to be bribed with _something_.'

'Well, how about a home. Unless you have a better offer,' she suggested, knowing the answer to the last sentence. 'Dan's family has a loft in Brooklyn that they rarely use, and it has a spare room. I'm sure they won't mind you staying there for a while. Please, let this be the first step of me keeping my promise.'

'I don't know...' he looked away, but she could see he wanted it. And she knew he needed it.

'Then it's settled. But for tonight, you'll have to sleep at our apartment, and I'll get the keys from Rufus tomorrow morning.'

His jaw hardened, his fingers curling up in fists. 'No, Serena. I won't stay in your mother's house.'

'Please, just for tonight. And then you'll leave. Please.' A shiver almost interrupted the last word, and she hoped he would decide faster, before her joints would freeze.

'Fine,' he sighed, once he noticed her shaking go up a level. He saw her smile, content with the way things ended in her favour, and they started walking back. 'Here, take this,' he instructed, placing his coat over Serena's shoulders. She wrapped it around her, remembering the smell of autumn afternoons and laughter.

xoxoxo

'I guess things never get boring around here, do they?' Dan said as he slipped underneath the covers of their bed.

She laughed, searching for his hand with hers, and interlocking their fingers once she found it. 'Everything is so messed up...' she complained, reeling in the comforting feel of him close to her.

'Not everything,' he corrected, sliding his arm underneath and around her, bringing her even closer to him. 'We're okay, aren't we?'

She smiled and closed her eyes. 'Yeah, we're good.'

He propped his head on his elbow, so he could see her better. Her features looked almost relaxed, her lips still curled into a faint smile. It almost triggered one from him. But he was worried, and most of that came from the fact he didn't know. What happened between her and Ben, what person she was before he met her, even if he had heard stories. He didn't know them from her, and he didn't want to judge her before she had the chance to talk to him, something he needed her to be able to do.

'Serena,' he whispered, coiling strands of her hair around his fingers.

'Yeah,' she replied, her lips moving against his chest.

'What happened between you and your teacher?' he asked, and as soon as the question was spoken, he felt her stiffen.

'You were there at the lovely family discussion earlier. Wasn't it obvious?'

'I want _you_ to tell me about it, rather than me jumping to conclusions. You know I'm good at that.'

She sighed. 'Well...' she started, 'I...I was at boarding school and I...' She felt tears threaten to spill, and she knew it was because she didn't really want him to know. What she was, how she used to behave... She didn't want him to see her in a different light, because, well, she loved the way he knew her now. She didn't want to change that. 'I can't...' she muttered, burying her face deeper in his chest.

'Hey, come here,' he soothed, and lifted her with him, so that she sat beside him. He saw the tiny streaks of water moving down her cheeks, and he instantly regretted causing her pain, but this time he would be selfish and continue to ask until she answered his questions. And there was one in particular he was dying to know the answer of.

He placed his hands on her cheeks, smoothing the perfect surface until it became dry.

'You know you can tell me anything,' he encouraged, and pressed his lips over her cheek, comforting her. Now that he was thinking again, past the cloud of judgement and doubt, he realised that maybe it was better to just put the past behind them and spare her the sorrow. They should be looking towards their future, not what might have happened a long time ago.

'I want to tell you, I just don't want you to think less of me after I do. And I know that you will, because who wouldn't?'

That, he couldn't accept. 'Serena, we have been through so much together. If you still think that I'm ever going to change my opinion of you, then I must have done something wrong. You have to trust me.'

'No, I do trust you. I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me, it's just sometimes I doubt myself, and then realise how right I am in doing so, and I panic, and...it overwhelms me. I'm sorry.'

'Don't apologise,' he commented, and wrapped his arms around her, cradling her to his chest. 'You know,' he spoke into her shoulder, 'you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to.'

'I want to tell you.' She pushed away and they sat opposite each other, holding one another's hands.

'So, after the Shephard wedding, and, you know, what happened between me and Nate, and then Pete dying, I ran away to a boarding school in Connecticut.' Each word she said was barely louder than a whisper, and her eyes were glued on their intertwined fingers. 'I arrived there with the reputation of the wild party girl, and I lived up to it. I wanted to forget, escape, drown the sorrow, and the hurt, and the guilt, and I thought the best way was by being reckless. All the teachers hated me, and the only reason I got good grades was because someone else was doing my homework.

That was until a new English teacher came. He was gentle, and nice, and he knew how to bring out the something he saw in me. He didn't judge me, didn't look down on me, he just...educated me. He respected me, as I did him. He had a way of making me start to show interest in school, and books, and I liked it, but not just for all the right reasons. I liked _him_, maybe a bit more than I should have, so I suggested out-of-hours sessions and after-school meetings. He read to me, nothing else happened, but with each second that we spent time together, I fell more and more in love with him.' His hands tensed under hers, and she knew she had hurt him. But she wanted to tell someone about this, she needed to let it all go, and he was the only person she could unload this on. 'I'm sorry,' she whispered, hoping it was enough.

'No, don't be,' he said, his thumbs rubbing circles around her knuckles. 'It's okay.'

'One evening, after he finished reading, he mentioned something about a Mary McCarthy collection at a library, so we went. But on the way back, the car broke down, and we went inside some inn in Poughkeepsie to keep dry and wait for the storm to pass. We were by the reception desk, and I saw an opportunity. I suggested that we got a room, and I thought we would, you know, finally...sleep together.' She couldn't stop. She knew this was probably painful for him to hear, but if she stopped now, then she would never bring it up again. 'God knows how much I wanted it, but he refused me. He fixed the car, drove me back to campus, and never spoke to me again until today. That was the last time I saw him until he showed up in my apartment this morning. When we got to Knightley, just before I got out of the car, he told me 'When you really want something, but the stakes are too high, you need to learn to let it go, no matter how much you desire it. Don't act on impulse, don't take risks. Life won't reward recklessness, it only punishes it'.' She stopped for a second, as if she was analysing those words. 'Then I came back to New York, got into Constance, as my mom wanted, and met you.' She smiled, remembering so many things, all at once. 'And you proved me wrong.'

'What do you mean?' he asked, his eyes avoiding hers, so she didn't see how affected he was by what he just heard.

'After Ben, I thought I couldn't love anyone else. But when I met you, I learned what love really meant.' She placed one hand flat on his cheek. 'I understood the difference between the obsession I felt for Ben, something I mistook for love, and the powerful, overwhelming passion, and devotion, _love_, that I felt for you.'

He didn't seem comforted by that, and his next question told her why. 'When you give up something that had a great impact on you, and then it comes back to you, old feelings can be awakened. Sometimes, time spent apart only 'makes the heart grow fonder', as they say. I just need to know, Serena, do you still have any feelings for him?'

She felt frustrated sobs make their way up her throat. She hated the fact that, when he asked her that question, she actually needed the time to consider it. She should've said 'no' straight away, but instead she deliberated the idea that, indeed, what she had once felt for Ben was unfinished, suddenly ended. And then she dared to look at him; and she saw his beautiful face stained with something that seemed like hurt, but on a much bigger level. His vulnerability, his doubts, could be read in his eyes, and the story seemed to get longer with every second she refrained from speaking. Any uncertainty that she might have had was gone when she noticed a single drop of water roll down his face, falling on the duvet around them from the way he then bent his head.

She placed her hands on his face, bringing their foreheads together. 'No, Dan, don't cry. I'm so sorry I took so long in saying this. How do you think I can have any feelings left for him, when my heart is so full of what I feel for you? I love you, and only you. Never doubt that. Never.' She kissed his cheek, his temple, the corner of his eye, wiping his tears. Finally, he put his arms around her and brought her closer to him, hiding his face in her hair. 'I'm sorry, don't cry,' she repeated over and over. They lied on the bed again, in each other's embrace, and her hands stroked his back until his breath evened and he fell asleep in her arms.

_**A/N:**__ Well, there we go. I wouldn't have taken Dan for a crier, but I thought that Serena was the only one who could hurt him enough to trigger such a powerful emotion. And also, I hope you're not too mad at me for using that passage from the series, but I thought the writers did a very good job at creating an adequate dialogue between the two. (Finally something they did right). Please review and let me know what you think. Hope to update soon. Thanks for reading! xx _


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: High to Low**

Serena's eyelids fluttered, her eyes accommodating to the sight of Dan's sleeping form pressed against her. His arms were wrapped loosely around her, in the same position he left them before falling asleep. She loved the fact that, even in his sleep, he smiled with his eyes. They tended to curl up at the edges, little creases forming at the ends of them. She brought one hand up, wrapping a strand of hair from his forehead around her finger and placed it back into place. She allowed her palm to rest flat on his cheek, feeling the pleasant texture underneath it.

'I love you so much,' she whispered, her eyes never leaving his face. She still couldn't believe how long it took her to say it to him the night before, when now it flowed so easily, so naturally, out of her. And she couldn't understand why.

'Good,' he muttered, his lips gently moving into a beautiful smile.

She let out a soft laugh, bringing their foreheads together, and allowing the sides of their noses to touch. She rested her lips over his, feeling them tense under hers, for a brief moment. She pulled away, allowing his mouth to explore the edge of her jaw, the length of her neck, the tip of her shoulder.

'Good morning,' she said, once their foreheads were united again. 'I didn't know you were awake.'

'I've been awake for a while. I just didn't let you know.'

'Why?' she asked lazily, rubbing her nose against his cheek.

'I like watching you sleep. I like seeing you calm, and happy, and peaceful. I like when you place the palm of your hand on my chest, to make sure I'm still here, even if you're just dreaming. I like the way the corners of your mouth twitch and you don't even know it,' he said, the tips of his fingers touching the edge of her lips. 'I like what you say when you're not over thinking everything,' he continued, his eyes drawn to hers.

She giggled a little, embarrassed. 'Oh, God, I talk in my sleep? Did I reveal any humiliating secrets?'

'You said my name…a few times. You said you loved me.' He paused there, watching her eyes drop. 'You know, every time you say it, I get this inexplicable feeling in my heart which tells me it's true. But this morning, when I heard you whisper it, even if you were unconscious, I can honestly say I could feel myself falling in love with you even harder. And I have never thought that loving you more than I already did was humanly possible.'

'Dan, stop saying things like that,' she spoke, and laid her head on his chest.

'Why?' he asked, and she could feel it vibrate as the words came out.

'Because, one day, I know I will do something to make you regret everything you're telling me right now. Even if I won't want to, I will hurt you, just like I always do. And it's frustrating, but I never mean to.'

She could hear his heart beating, and she could remember moments when she would feel hers beat at the same time. She counted each thump, and it took a while until he spoke again.

'Serena, the only way you could ever hurt me, the only way you _did_ hurt me in the years that we've known each other, was when you left me. I can survive anything, as long as I know that you'll always be here, right beside me. As long as you stay with me, I'll be the happiest man alive.' It was times like these when he couldn't understand. What did he do wrong, to make her think things like these? Why would she be so insecure about something that he knew so certainly? Why couldn't he make her understand, once and for all, that this was their forever? Was she scared? Then he'd be strong for her; they had been through so much, yet mending Serena into what she used to be was the hardest thing he ever had to do. But it was worth it, and there was nothing else that he would want to do. There was nowhere else that he wanted to be, and definitely no one else that he wanted to be with.

'I'll always be here, Dan. I'm never leaving again. I promise,' she whispered and wrapped his arms around him, snuggling comfortably into his chest.

'I know that. I just wished you knew the same applies to me.'

'I'm starting to remember,' she muttered, and closed her eyes. He bent his head slightly, only enough to manage to kiss the top of her head.

xoxoxo

Hard footsteps echoed outside their door, followed shortly by rhythmic striking of stilettos against the parquet.

'Rufus, wait, let's talk about this!' they heard Lily shout, her voice fading with every rushed step she took.

Serena sighed, closing her eyes. 'What are they fighting about _this_ time?' she muttered. She didn't like the arguments between her mother and Rufus, but, secretly and selfishly, she was embarrassed to admit that she was glad it wasn't her and Dan having them. She was happy that the relationship their parents had wasn't even a fraction of what was between Dan and her. She wanted her mom to be happy, and she showed that when she gave up Dan in Lily's benefit. But fate brought them together once more, and she wouldn't sacrifice that again. She had to be happy too.

'Let's find out,' he suggested.

They walked quickly but quietly, their fingers interlocked. When they entered the living room, they saw Rufus stuff some clothes in a bag, with Lily mumbling things around him.

'Rufus, you're not giving me a chance to explain. That's not fair,' she said, resting her hands on her hips.

'Not fair?' he exclaimed, stilling his hands and staring in his wife's eyes. 'Lily, when I married you, I knew you weren't exactly God's right hand. You had your past, and so did I, and we got over that. But I never thought you would be capable of something like this. I thought I knew who I'd tied myself to, but now I'm not so sure.' He started moving again, zipping up the bag he was so forcefully holding.

'Rufus…'

'I need some space,' he said, and walked out the door.

Lily stood there, not saying anything, not doing anything, just looking at something that wasn't there. Then, as if someone jolted her, she walked robotically to the bar and poured herself a glass of alcohol.

'Mom, what happened?' Serena asked from the place Dan and her stood and watched the previous scene unfold.

'How could you bring him into my house? How could you bring that convict here, Serena? Have you lost your mind?' She moved her fingers uncontrollably, her nails making an irritating noise every time they hit the glass.

'Don't call him that, mom. Must I remind you he's innocent? I want to help him rebuild his future, and I couldn't let him stay at a halfway house. Don't worry, he'll be gone by tonight. I know he doesn't want to see you either.'

'Well, he's already gone. He left with Rufus, after he shared the whole story with him and made him hate me! You shouldn't have brought him here, Serena.'

'Let's not argue about this anymore. I chose to help Ben, and I will. I just hope I can earn his trust, before the judgment you brought upon me clouds his mind.'

Lily placed her glass back on the counter. 'So what is it going to happen to Rufus and I? Do you find it okay that my husband lives separately from me now? How is that going to be fixed? Where in your grand, master plan is my reconciliation with my husband?'

'I'm sorry, mother, but you'll have to clean up this mess. I'm solving the other problem you've created.' With that, Serena turned around and walked steadily back to her room.

Dan didn't follow immediately; he stood there, and he didn't know why. He tried to think about everything, about nothing, about something else, yet every thought turned into doubts and he hated that. He questioned himself; what type of boyfriend was he if, somewhere deep inside him, he was starting to question the only person he used to trust more than anyone? He wanted answers to his queries. No, he wanted assurance.

His eyes snapped back to the room, and he noticed he was alone. He moved his feet quickly, and when he got to her door, he didn't hesitate to open it. He saw her pacing around the room, her hands shaking slightly by her sides. His eyes dropped to the floor, and he saw the blanket that was only minutes ago wrapped tightly around them, crumpled beside the bed.

'What happened here, Serena?' It was strange for him. He had never seen her this way; so angry, so irascible. When she didn't answer, he walked beside her, placing his hands on her shoulders, stilling her. He worried even more when he felt her slender frame shake under his touch. What reason had she to be so damn affected about this man? Why did she care so much? Why couldn't he believe it when she told him it wasn't because she still…

'Hey, calm down,' he soothed, rubbing his palms up and down her arms. Was he comforting her, or himself?

After what seemed like an eternity, she sighed, her muscles relaxing slowly beneath his hands.

'Serena, what exactly did you think when you invited that man into your mother's house?' he blurted, his frustrations turning slowly into anger.

She pushed his hands away, walking in the opposite direction to him, her arms wrapped around her, shielding her. He never thought she would ever feel like she needed protection from him, he never thought he would make her feel scared, and that was almost enough to make him take her in his arms, hold her, apologize. But when she turned around to face him, from the corner of the room, she looked cold, hard, resentful almost.

'I never thought you would turn against me too, Dan. I thought you were going to be here for me...' Her eyes glistened, their surface covered in water.

'I _am_ here, Serena, but I don't understand this! Why are you so desperate to help this man you've known a long time ago, when you know it will damage your family? Why would you betray your own mother?' He knew he wasn't making enough sense to present a strong, valid argument, but he decided it was better to say something than nothing.

'Dan, Ben was in prison. How do you think I feel, knowing that while I dined on sophisticated dishes cooked by Michelin-starred chefs, he ate basic, unsatisfactory, bland meals because of me? That while I was surrounded by my family, and people who loved me, he was alone in a jail cell? That while I slept on expensive linens, he had to endure a hard, cold metal bed? That, worst of all, while I was _free_ to do whatever the hell I wanted, he was behind some stupid bars for three years, all because of me? Do you understand how that feels?' She was close to succumbing to sobs, but she realised she was stronger now, and she felt slightly more in control than before.

'Sweetheart, I know you feel bad about it, but you can't keep blaming yourself. It was not your fault and you need to understand that. It's very nice of you to try and help him put his life back on track, but you need to look at the pros and cons of that, and prioritise things. I mean, is it worth the miserable atmosphere in our house right now?' He tried to comfort her, but she closed herself in, seeming like an impenetrable wall of coldness and opposition.

'He suffered enough. Now it's my turn.'

'No, Serena, it's not! God, why is it so hard to make you understand? We're going nowhere with this, can't you see? What are you planning to do? Buy him a house, bribe someone to hire him, maybe even get him a chauffeur and a limo? And all of this, while fighting with your mother, maybe even pushing me away? Is this your great idea?'

Her voice softened, the words he spoke hurting more than she thought they would. 'I thought you'd... I don't know what I thought anymore, but I'm sure it wasn't that you'd be so judgmental of this world, now that you're a part of it.'

He sighed. 'Not this again, Serena. This was 2008's fight. Let's find a new topic.'

He was as indifferent as she was. 'I think we already have. Look, Dan, this is my final decision, I have already discussed it with Ben, and it seems Rufus is taking it on board, so it's going to happen. He will stay at the loft for a while, and I'll find him a job, while I try to find the judge responsible and negotiate clearing his name.'

'What? When were you going to tell me he was going to stay at the loft? Might I remind you, Serena, that is also my house.'

'I'm not going to discuss this, Dan. You can either be with me on this, or against me, but I'm not going to give up. I'm sorry it has to be this way,' she muttered, and left the room, leaving a frustrated, heart-broken, confused Dan contemplate where it all went wrong again.

_**A/N**__: I'm sorry it took so long, but I'm experiencing the most annoying, frustrating case of writer's block. I'm really trying to come up with something that you guys will like, and I hope this chapter is good enough. Hope to update soon! Please review and tell me what you think. It's extremely rewarding to see that people appreciate what I write. Thank you a million times! xx_


	10. Chapter 10

She ran, the crispy air of New York lashing against her bare skin. She turned heads, but this time not just because of her beauty. People stared at her thin body only covered in a skimpy slip-on, her bare feet slapping the hard concrete. They hurt; she had probably cut her delicate soles, but the pain wasn't nearly as bad as the one inside her, the one inside her heart.

She didn't want to think just yet. She preferred it when her mind was as numb as her body, so she allowed the cold to take over, control her, make her forget for the briefest of seconds, and then bring her back to the unbearable sorrow she felt. Then she'd forget again, and so it went back and forth, torturing her. A sick game.

It was as if her feet were on autopilot. She knew where she was going even before her brain managed to think it. The next safest place. She entered the well-known doorway, and climbed the familiar steps. In her mind, she heard the ring of the elevator long before it actually rang. The bright red digital numbers kept going up and up, but they couldn't go fast enough. She looked in the mirror, and shuddered at the sight; pale face, hollow eyes, a broken heart. What had she become?

The doors opened, and she walked out, wishing she at least had a shred of luck left with her. It wasn't early or late, so the person she was looking for shouldn't have been there, but Serena hoped it was different just this once. She ran up the stairs to the bedroom, noticing her dirty footprints stained the polished marble. She cared, but not enough to stop. She repeatedly knocked on the wooden planks of the door, her knuckles hurting as they hit against the surface.

'Blair, are you in there?' she asked after seconds of silence. 'Please, Blair, it's me.' With the last words, she could feel her knees thaw from the heat of the penthouse, her legs unstable. She was about to collapse underneath the suddenly great weight of her upper body, but the door opened, and instead, she fell in her friends' arms.

'S, are you okay? What happened?' she asked frantically, as Serena allowed everything she managed to control until then flow out of her. Tears, sobs, pain, they seemed to seep out of her system, yet there would be a never-ending source, causing more and more of them. 'Dorota, get me a change of clothes and tea, fast,' she shouted at the confused maid, who had come to inspect what all the noise was.

'Gosh, you're freezing,' Blair muttered, as she wrapped the thick robe over Serena's dry pyjamas. Then, she didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around the shaking body of her best friend. 'S, talk to me. What's wrong?'

She felt Serena's head shake against her side, as they both laid on the bed, so she stroked her hair, and rubbed her arms, and comforted her, until the tears finally dried, and the sobs ceased. Of course she was curious, it was in her nature to be, but she had to be her best friend first, and nothing was more important to her at that moment.

'I messed up, B,' she finally spoke, the words barely audible. 'I did it again. He'll never forgive me now.'

Typical. 'Is this about Dan?' Why was she asking? She already knew the answer to that. The only times Serena had been so upset were when Dan was involved in some way or the other. And that was one of the main things on the 'I hate Dan Humphrey' list.

But the weak nod of Serena's head confirmed it. 'S, please don't mind me saying this, but Dan would move mountains for you. He's far too in love with you to let you go again. I'm sure whatever you are fighting about now is just a passing phase.'

'No, B, maybe not this time. I know I'm making it hard for him to understand, but I just wish he would trust me and support me, even if he doesn't empathize with my decisions. We keep tripping over the same new obstacle, over and over, and that is a lack of faith in each other. And it hurts, B, it kills me, because I love him. And he loves me. And it makes no sense to experience this sense of distrust when we feel so strongly about one another.'

'Maybe that's because you got back together so suddenly, you didn't have a chance to talk things through. To commit and express it. Maybe you were so wound up in the heat of the moment, you put all of the 'administrational' aspects of your relationship to the back of your minds. But that was fine for the short-term, and this argument is just a sign that you have to sort some things out.'

'I really hope you're right. I don't want to live without him, B. I've finally chosen, and I chose him. It's always been him.'

'I know,' Blair whispered, and kissed the top of Serena's head, soothingly. 'Now tell me, why aren't you having this fight with him on your romantic getaway to 'Poorsville, Nowhereland'?'

'Well, once Ben showed up, everything got so messed up, we postponed it...'

'Wait, what? Who's Ben?'

Serena swallowed nothing when she realised she blurted something Blair didn't know. So she explained everything, leaving nothing out. Blair was her sister, and Serena realised that the only way she could help was if she knew all the details.

It had gotten dark, but the stars were shadowed by thick blankets of clouds. She couldn't remember what date it was, but the fact that it wasn't snowing just yet led her to think it couldn't be much later than she suspected. She allowed Blair to grasp every word she had muttered, and while that happened, she couldn't stop thinking about him. About where he was, what he was doing; worse, what was he thinking? She wanted answers only he could give. Something startled them both. A knock, and Dorota's head through the door.

'Miss Blair, there is visitor downstairs. He says it's urgent.' Her voice seemed unaffected, but the expression in her eyes hinted that there was something more.

'Coming,' Blair said, and kissed Serena's cheek before leaving the room swiftly.

Serena appreciated the quiet. She allowed her head to fall back on one of the pillows, the soft satin caressing the back of her neck. She rolled onto one side, her knees dug into her chest, and she closed her eyes, images of him playing before them. She was just about to fall asleep, when Blair shook her shoulder, urging her to get up.

'Come quickly, S. Hurry,' she nagged, and, robotically, Serena did what was asked of her without question. Her eyes were half closed as they rushed down the stairs, but as soon as her feet touched flatter ground, she shut them fully, not wanting to care about anything else.

'Just tell him what you told me. Assure him he's the only one for you. 'Cause there is no one else for him,' Blair whispered in Serena's ear, and then suddenly disappeared from her side. Confused at what had just happened, she opened her eyes, and once she focused them, she saw him.

He stood, coat buttoned, scarf around his neck. The tips of his ears and nose were a dark shade of pink from the cold, and only briefly she remembered evenings when she would kiss them to warm them up. She didn't know whether she wanted to move or not, but it seemed she wasn't in control anymore. There was tension between them; she could feel it. But there was something in his eyes that pulled her in, telling her it was okay to come closer to him, hold him. So she walked, speedily, and as she got nearer to him, his arms opened wider and wider. She stood before him, feeling his hands press against her back, pushing her closer to his chest. Her palms rested on his cheeks, the chilly surface not bothering her. It was as if nothing had happened, yet they both knew that wasn't true. But they would deal with that later. For then, all they needed was a single moment of the other's presence and nothing else. No words, no arguments, no cries.

'You're cold,' she finally muttered, rubbing her thumb backwards and forwards across his cheek.

'Well, it _is_ December, and I _did_ run around the whole city looking for you. I should have known you were at Blair's.'

'I'm sorry,' she said, almost instinctively.

'No, don't apologise. _I_ should, though. I had no reason not to trust you. I allowed my jealousy to take over reason, and...I was stupid.'

'God, Dan, I've acted so unfairly towards you, I've said so many painful things, yet, as always, you forgive me once again. You're the one to apologize, even if you shouldn't, you're the one to patch things up. I just need to know, why would you?'

'Because you and I are forever, remember? Only I've decided that forever with you is not long enough for me, so I'm not going to waste it arguing, when there are so many other things that we could do.'

She smiled, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes, on the edge of falling. She desperately wanted to lean in, kiss him, just once, just for a minute. But she had one more thing to say, one more thing to clarify, something he should have known.

'I just need you to understand that when I'm so keen on helping Ben, it's not because I feel something for him, but more because I feel that I owe him something. Before anything else happens, I just need you to know that, for me, you're it. There is no one else, and there never really was. If you don't believe that, then I'm not sure what we're doing.' She looked away as she spoke; she was too embarrassed to face him, yet, for the first time that day, she said exactly what she wanted to say. It was time to speak the truth, lay it all out on the table, so that they never had to go through it all ever again.

He lifted one hand to smooth the side of her cheek with the back of it. As he looked in her eyes, he smiled, the beautiful smile that won her over every time.

'Do you want an answer to that question, or is it enough if I just kissed you?' he asked, but before she had the chance to reply, he pressed his lips against hers, silencing her.

'Dan,' she whispered against his mouth, trying to resist the temptation to succumb to his touch. Somehow, she preferred the worded answer. Why, she wasn't sure.

He stopped. He would never force himself on her, but he knew the only reason she pulled away was because she was scared. And he wished she could see she had no reason to be.

'I want you to answer my question.' His face changed, became harder, more serious. Was he upset? She hoped not, or, at least, not too upset. She hoped he would understand. Because she could justify her request. Almost. 'Sorry,' she muttered, looking away, but still waiting for him to speak.

He lifted her chin with his finger, joining her eyes with his. She saw that, although his expression changed, his smile was still there, folded in the creases from the corners of his eyes.

'It's okay,' he encouraged, trying to lift her spirits, her confidence, bit by bit. He wasn't aware that he was succeeding.

He took her hand in his, their fingers automatically interlocking.

'Serena. The reason I was so jealous of Ben, and your past with him, was because I love you. The reason I looked for you today throughout the whole of this city was because I knew my lack of trust really hurt you, because you love me, too.'

'I really do,' she whispered.

'I know.'

'Good,' she said, and leaned her head against his chest. He engulfed her in his arms, bending his head to touch his lips to the top of her head. She lifted her chin, and their mouths met again in a fiery kiss.

'Okay,' Blair's voice interrupted their moment, the socialite's svelte form appearing from around the corner. 'That's enough PDA for my house. Continue it in your own.'

Serena hid her face in his chest again, laughing softly with him. But while she wasn't looking, or paying any attention, as she was distracted by his strong hold on her, Dan whispered something to Blair.

'Thank Dorota for the call,' he said while stroking the blond strands he used to dream about seeing.

'She _does_ follow orders well,' she mentioned with a knowing smile. 'Now, seriously, you two. Scram!' she ordered.

Serena walked over to her best friend and wrapped her arms around Blair.

'Thank you for being here,' she muttered, then kissed her cheek.

'Of course,' Blair replied. 'I'll see you later, okay?'

'Bye, B,' Serena said and skipped towards Dan. 'Let's go.'

His confused face baffled her. 'Sweetheart, you know I never disagree with you when it comes to fashion, but are you sure you want to walk out of here in that?' He could barely contain his laughter when she understood what he was referring to.

Blair giggled. 'Just take one of my coats and pairs of boots. I want them back, though. Don't abduct them, like you did with my Michel Perrys.'

'I won't,' she shouted back, and opened the large double doors to the coat room.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven – Close to Perfect**

They walked to the van der Woodsen penthouse, his hand clasping one of hers. The constant murmur of the city that never sleeps surrounded them, but the sound was faded, like it was happening outside of the bubble that she felt she was in. At that moment, she didn't feel like _the_ beautiful socialite, the subject of every male's fantasies. Right then, as she walked down the deserted streets of the Upper East Side, she felt like, Serena, _a_ girl, a normal girl; no fame, no perks, no social status, only a normal girl in love. And she loved the feeling; she could smell the freedom. One of the reasons she knew she belonged with Dan was because he was the only one to make her feel that way; herself, not who people wanted her to be.

Her house wasn't too far away, but she wanted to make the feeling last. They walked slowly, no more tension between them, just quiet. It was cold, and the clouds were covering the moon, but she couldn't feel it. She was much too happy to feel it. Sometimes, she considered the fact that it was easy to make her happy. But she didn't care; she deserved to be, after everything that had happened.

A single small crystal of snow fell on her coat, and she stopped to admire it. She smiled as she touched it with the tip of her finger, the warmth causing it to melt. Then another one fell, and another, creating a random pattern on her sleeve.

She loved it. The only time she actually liked to be outside was when it snowed. Everything looked more peaceful covered in white. And she needed some peace in her life. She spun, arms out wide, laughing as she felt the snowflakes cling to her hair. When she stopped, she ran towards Dan, who was standing behind her, watching her with a soft smile on his face. She was happy, and he treasured that.

'It's snowing, Dan,' she said, taking his hands in hers. 'It's so beautiful...' she murmured, as she looked up to the sky.

'Not nearly as beautiful as you,' he muttered, causing her to laugh softly, resting her cheek against his briefly.

'Isn't it a bit early for snow, though?'

He let out a short laugh. 'Sweetheart, it's Christmas Eve tonight. I think it's perfect timing.'

She pulled away to look at him, her eyebrows touching in confusion. 'It can't be. College break started...'

'Quite a while ago,' he finished for her.

She counted back in her head, realising that indeed, he was right.

'My goodness, another Christmas, another year gone by.'

'You know, this is our second Christmas together.' When he saw her perplexity, he corrected. 'Together as a couple, I mean.'

She smiled as she understood and her mind travelled to the best Christmas _in the history of Christmases_. What a perfect night that was. How happy he made her. How safe he made her feel, even if she had done it countless times before and he was the one new to it. Wanted, loved, she had never felt that way before.

'I...remember,' she spoke softly, bringing her head closer to his.

'I wouldn't let you forget anyway,' he spoke, and sealed the gap between them with a soft kiss.

xoxo

The loud ring of her phone forced her eyes to open, her hand searching for it on the bedside table.

'Hello?' she answered, her voice harsh with sleep. Or lack of.

'Merry Christmas, S! Do you remember our Christmas Eve sleepovers? God, I miss them. We haven't had one in years!' Blair shouted through the phone, her voice ringing in Serena's head.

'Merry Christmas to you, too, B,' she replied, her head falling back on the pillows.

'Hmm, something tells me you weren't up when I called you. Please tell me it wasn't because you and Humphrey celebrated your reunion 'R-Rated' style. Or any style, for that matter.'

'Well, it _was_ Christmas Eve. We do have traditions when it comes to the Night Before Christmas.' She tried to stifle her laugh triggered by the mental image of Blair's face as she digested her words.

'Ew. Here I was, believing that was just a phase with you. Okay, S, I'll leave you to it. I'll see you tonight, at your mother's shindig. Love you, and, uh, wish Humphrey okay-ish holidays from me.'

Serena laughed. 'Okay, I will. Love you, too.'

She placed the phone on the table, and snuggled back into Dan's chest.

'That was a nice wake-up call from Blair,' he muttered, his eyes still closed. She could feel his lips press lightly against the back of her neck, her shoulder, the bare skin of her upper back.

'Yeah, she wishes us a happy Christmas, you included,' she spoke, barely managing to take her mind off the fact that his hand was resting on her abdomen, his fingers aimlessly stroking the skin there.

'Hmm, she's warming up to me,' he said, his breath tickling her back. With the arm he kept around her, he pulled her towards him, and she placed one hand on his back as she faced him. They kissed once more, twice, three times, any notion of time suddenly becoming irrelevant. When they broke away, she nestled in his chest, placing her lips over the skin closest to her.

'Merry Christmas,' she murmured.

His fingers traced a continuous line from the top of her waist to the start of her hips. His attention, however, was focused on something else. How her eyelids covered the most beautiful eyes Dan ever had the chance to look into. How a loose strand of her hair curved perfectly around the features of her face. All he wanted to do was kiss her, but her lips were stretched into a beautiful smile which he didn't want to ruin. It felt good to see her happy.

'I've got a present for you,' he said, suddenly bringing her up with him as he jumped out of the bed. She tied a dressing gown around her waist, while Dan removed a small box from the inside pocket of his coat, which was thrown somewhere in a corner of the room.

'Dan, house rules say that presents are opened after dinner, when everyone is there. I feel like a cheater by opening one early,' she muttered, as she analysed the black velvet that covered the sturdy square in the palm of her hand.

'Don't worry, Believe it or not, I have actually cleared this with your mother. I wanted you to get this when we were alone. Just the two of us. I like it best that way.'

She breathed in deeply, holding the air in her lungs, keeping the pressure there to balance the tension around them. She had seen it before. _'Lily, will you do me the honour of being my wife?'_ She remembered hating it. Looking at the small box, she realised she didn't want to hate it at that moment, but she does anyway. She didn't want to be her mother. And saying 'yes' to a proposal on Christmas Day is well on the way to that. She wanted to marry him. She wanted to utter the small word that changes everything, to cry as he embraces her and lifts her off the floor, but under different circumstances.

She knows he knows what she's thinking, and she doesn't want to hurt him. So she opened the box, slowly, allowing her eyes to focus on the contents only when the lid is completely removed. A key. She placed it in the palm of her hand, and as soon as the cold metal touched her skin, the breath caged inside her chest escaped louder than expected.

'What's this for?' she asked, once the relief annihilated any fears within her. 'I hope you didn't get me a car; you know I can't drive.'

'If you really think this is a key that would unlock a car, then I don't think you should try learning.' She laughed, and he realised she was relieved. He wasn't sure how to feel about that; if he had proposed to her, would she have said 'no'? That wasn't something he wanted to consider yet.

'This is your key to an apartment not far away from here. Doorman, two en-suits, four bathrooms, balcony, state-of-the-art kitchen, even though it's safe to say I'll be the only one cooking, and I made extra-sure there was a room dedicated to your wardrobe, because I know you love to shop, and the closet space in this room is about the size of my loft, and I wanted everything to be good enough. No, actually, I wanted everything to be perfect, and... Did you know that, surprisingly, not many apartments on the Upper East Side have a closet room? Maybe because people buy another apartment to accommodate their wardrobe... Or they rent their clothes. Even though that's disgusting and potentially dangerous; there are so many skin infections...'

She allowed him to ramble, her heart swelling knowing he did that when he was nervous. She noticed his eyes focused on the ceiling, and his hands were all over the place, as he gesticulated more with every word he got out. She rested her gaze on the key again, and laughed at her ridiculous reaction only seconds ago. She knew it was one of the reasons Dan was still muttering things completely irrelevant to the situation. She realised this was a great step for them; the start of a mature relationship. But it was also a sign, proving the fact that, after all the drama and pain and problems they faced, they belonged with each other. Even though they might have been held back in the past, they were together now, moving strongly forward towards the life they were meant to live. And she couldn't wait for it to start.

'... but who needs a pool, anyways? I mean, I think our Jacuzzi will be more than enough. If you really want to do exercise, we can always go for walks in the park, or we can cycle every day, we can do whatever you want. As long as we do it together, I don't really care. Speaking about caring, there is a lady that comes in every week and cleans, and I know you have classes all day on Tuesdays, so I have asked her to come then so everything is spotless when you get home. Not that I...'

She effectively stopped him when she rested her lips against his, touching his cheek with the palm of her hand.

'Do you know what your problem is, Humphrey?' she whispered in his ear, snaking her arms around his body. 'You talk way too much,' she said, and allowed his mouth to overpower hers, as he pressed her into the mattress of their bed.

xoxoxo

'Christmas is a time for forgiveness. A time to repair bonds and rebuild relationships. Although my husband has unfortunately had no other option than to spend this wonderful day away from his family, I desire to be as close to mine as possible. Serena, I hope you can find it in your heart to give me a second chance, and I would like to express my gratitude towards a man who had no reason to forgive me, but did anyway. Ben, I'm honoured to have you here today, celebrating this holiday season with us.'

People clapped, cameras flashed, and glasses clinched, but as honest as her mother's speech seemed on the outside, Serena knew the truth. Keeping appearances was more important than anything, and Lily knew that the thirty people filling her living room should only know the story, not the reality.

'Merry Christmas.' 'Merry Christmas,' floated around Serena, but she didn't pay any attention to the words, her eyes searching for her mom or Ben, unsure on which order she preferred to find them in.

'As much as he would have loved to be here right now, I'm afraid Jenny, who lives in Hudson at the moment, needed her father desperately during the holidays, and it's only fair that...'

She could hear her, and soon she could see her too, the trail of lies leading her gaze straight on her mother's well-trained face. Anne Archibald, of course the pretences were kicked up a gear.

'Mom, can I talk to you?' Serena interrupted, not daring to care anymore.

'Remember where we are before causing a scene, Serena,' Lily said, her face the epitome of serenity, while the tone of her voice was much sharper than before.

'Why would you do this to Ben, mother? How much humiliation should one human being take? I'm surprised you didn't even think about yourself this time either. Do you know how dangerous this is for you? What if people find out the real reason why he's in New York in the first place?'

'Relax, Serena, I have everything under control. And I meant what I said earlier. I want a fresh start and a better relationship...'

'Stop acting like you care! There is always an ulterior motive with you, and I would love you to fill me in on what it is, so I can get to Ben in time and protect him from yet another disaster created by Lily van der Woodsen.'

She sighed, resting her slender fingers against the surface of her temple. 'I cleared his name, Serena. I dropped all charges against him, and ensured his records are clean. I got the judge who helped me back then to solve everything, and I did it for you. I asked Ben to join us today, so that I could give him his documents and have a chance to apologise, and if you had waited about twenty more minutes, I would have been able to surprise you. But, let's face it, you never were one to be patient, and you definitely don't know how to shy away from a scandal, so please go to the safe, get the papers and give them to Ben before anyone overhears anything and this party turns into a nightmare. I understand if you wouldn't want to be here after that.' She started walking away, but stopped and looked at her daughter one last time. 'Congratulations on the apartment, by the way. I hope you two will be truly happy.' Then she left, leaving Serena behind to contemplate whether she had just done a great mistake.

xoxoxo

'Cabbage Patch, you can at least try to pretend like you belong. Here, just hold this champagne flute, and not by its leg, like someone under the poverty line, who has never seen one before would,' Blair moaned, handing Dan a glass filled to its rim with alcohol. He downed it in one go, and handed the glass back to the brunette.

'Okay, lesson number two. Don't drink it like there's no tomorrow. You know, people here can actually afford to have a second drink, so don't worry, no one will steal yours,' she criticised, passing Dan a second glass, the contents of it disappearing as soon as the first.

'You are a waste of time. Where is Serena and why aren't you with her?'

'I don't know. She disappeared, so I'm waiting for her here.'

'I'll wait with you, because at the rate you're going, by the time S gets here, there won't be any champagne left in this building.' She sat next to him, and as much as she hated to, she felt sorry for him. She knew Serena was the only one he had ever loved, and the same applied for her best friend, and although she would never admit it out loud, she wished they would last this time. There were meant to.

'Sit up straight. You look like a homeless person, and you're making me look bad,' she said, not trying to give anything away.

'Dan, you're here,' Serena spoke, gathering both of their attentions. 'Blair, what are you doing with my man?' she joked, as she got hold of Dan's hands and pulled him up from his seat, snuggling into his side.

'Don't joke like that, S. I was just guarding the '95 Dom.'

Serena laughed. 'Okay. Dan, I need to get out of here. Come with me?' Blair rolled her eyes at the question. In what universe would he ever say 'no'?

'B, I'll see you soon, okay? I have to go. I love you.'

'Love you, too,' she muttered, as she wrapped her arms around the blonde. 'Just a word of advice? Educate him until the next time you take him out in public,' she whispered, before breaking away and rushing toward the large platter of multi-coloured macaroons.

xoxoxo

'So what now?' she asked, her heels barely making a sound against the snow covered concrete.

'I think I know exactly where to go,' he said, taking out a familiar key from the inside pocket of his coat.

_**A/N:**__ As usual, I am sorry for the delay, but sometimes, I just can't write anything. I hope this is good enough. Please review! Thank you. xx_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve – Welcome to Your New Life **

3 WEEKS LATER

People find moving house hard. The multitude of labelled boxes, the packing and unpacking can become too much. But on the Upper East Side, even a change of address becomes an important event on the social calendar. Under her mother's strict orders, Serena hosted her first 'housewarming' party at their new apartment. The night ended up being a success; the guests, most of which were friends of her mother's, complimented her on her impeccable taste and talent when it came to interior design, or her exquisite taste in artists and painters.

The overwhelming amounts of conversation left little room for Serena to even talk to Dan. She managed to steal a few glimpses of him across the room, but only after the party did she get the chance to thank him properly for being so understanding and accepting of the elite rituals.

He surprised her one day. He bought her a puppy, a tiny golden Labrador, and the look on her face when she held it for the first time let him know he was doing something right.

'Dan, meet Sandy, the newest member of our family,' she spoke, as she cradled the lively bundle of blond fur in her arms.

And he couldn't help but smile broadly at the fact that they were, indeed, a family in the way that he only dreamt about a few years ago.

Later, he held her in his arms as they lay on their bed, her head resting on his left shoulder, their legs knotted together. They way they lay countless times before.

'You know,' she said, allowing her fingers to touch the bottom of his right ear, 'I have a lot of making up to do.'

He laughed, and kissed the side of her forehead. 'And why is that?' he teased.

'You've done so much for me, and you know I'm not just referring to the penthouse and the puppy. Without you, I would still be at the Ostroff right now. Actually, without you, I think I would be at a boarding school in China. You were exactly what I needed to become someone worthy of a better life for myself, and thank you for always being here, and making sure I remained that person, even if I did slip up a few times. It couldn't have been easy for you.'

'You're wrong. It was easy, because I _wanted_ to be there for you. Serena, I've loved you for a really long time, and I need you to know I would've loved you equally even if you hadn't managed to overcome your issues. But the only reason I wanted to help you change who you were when we met was because I knew that, underneath what you showed on the outside, existed a better Serena, and she was so beautiful, it would have been selfish of me to keep her to myself.'

She smiled, and dropped her hand to his chest. 'I'm glad you saw her when no-one else did. Not even me.'

'I didn't see it from the beginning. Do you know what made me finally understand there was more to the reckless, blonde beauty than she allowed people to see? The fact that the way I looked at you that night at the loft, the way that you said nobody's ever looked at you before, scared you. The renowned party girl that you were wouldn't have let herself to seem weak by showing fear. But to me, you were stronger than ever by permitting me to see who you really were.'

'You won my trust that night. You stopped when I hesitated, and didn't hate me for it. No man I had met before ever did that.'

'Come here,' he said, just as he did then, and locked his arms around her waist, keeping her as close to him as humanely possible. He placed his head against hers and closed his eyes, the smell of her shampoo reminding him of mornings they wasted in bed what seemed like eons ago.

He felt her breathing slow down, and once he established she was asleep, he allowed himself to close his eyes and succumb to the tiredness.

xoxo

Soon after the New Year came her birthday, but today, she didn't feel like getting out of bed, or preparing for the festive brunch Blair and her mother prepared for her every year. And the fact that Dan wasn't lying next to her made her decide to close her eyes for ten more minutes.

Two hours later, she left her apartment and walked to Blair's, reluctant for the celebrations to begin.

'Happy Birthday, S,' the brunette shouted, as soon as she stepped on the polished marble.

'Thank you, B.' She mustered a smile. 'Where is everyone?' she asked when she noticed the empty apartment.

'This year, we're having Macaroons and Audrey. Just the two of us.' Blair grinned, taking Serena's hand in hers. The lack of a similar response made her realise something was not right about her best friend. 'But forget that, I know something's wrong with you. Let me guess, trouble in paradise?' Blair asked, leading Serena to her lavish bedroom.

'No, things between Dan and I are going perfectly, actually. Although I haven't seen him yet today.'

'How awful,' she muttered, opening a green box. 'Macaroon?'

'No, thanks, I actually feel a bit nauseous. I barely got out of bed this morning. All I want to do is sleep.'

'Sounds like it's that time of the month again,' Blair said suggestively.

'It's not, although it should be. Maybe this urge of hiding underneath the bed covers _does_ have something to do with me being late,' she pondered, and stretched her arm out to reach for the green box.

When she lifted her eyes up again, Blair's face looked like she had either seen a ghost or her favourite pair of Louboutins sold out before she had a chance to buy them. For the thirty seconds she stared at her, Blair didn't blink, so Serena touched her hand, suddenly worried.

'What's wrong, Blair?'

'How late is 'late'?' was the only thing she asked, and Serena knew her best friend well enough to know that answering that question was, somehow, important.

'I don't know... A few days, maybe even a week. Why?'

'And I wouldn't normally ask this, because I know the answer will scar me for life, but when was the last time you...took care...of Humphrey.'

At first, Serena had no idea what 'taking care' meant, but the repulsed look on Blair's face hinted to what it could have related to.

'Oh, it can't be that hard to remember! You're Barbie and Lonely Boy, and you've _just_ moved in together. I'm sure you've christened the bed at least once.'

'I know what you're getting at, Blair, and forget it. That's not possible.'

'Serena, I wouldn't put myself through the physical pain of considering the concept that in about nine months, there might be a little Humphrey wasting our oxygen and ruining your unfairly perfect gene pool, if I didn't consider there was the slightest possibility of it being true. Think about it. The dates fit. It might happen.'

'Would you stop saying that so loudly?'

'Fine. I'll shut up if you take one of the pregnancy tests left over from Dorota. It's not used, by the way.'

'No, Blair. Look, you know I love our girly chats, but, first of all, you're getting overly excited about something that is not true. I am not pregnant! I know this, because careful is an underestimation of what we were. Second of all, I don't believe in those tests, so I wouldn't take one anyways. Now, you were saying something about Audrey...'

'Actually, I just realised there is a meeting I must attend. I promise I'll see you later, okay?'

Serena sighed. 'Okay. Love you, B,' she said, and wrapped her arms around the brunette.

'I don't have to tell you how much I love you, right?' the brunette asked, and broke away.

As soon as Serena left her room, Blair grabbed her phone from the bedside table.

xoxo

She walked down the streets, hoping to clear her head, but instead, a strange feeling that she was being followed overwhelmed her. She entered the gates to the park; maybe going to their bench would calm her. Maybe she would even see him there. He would have known what to do or say to make everything better. She sat on the edge of the cold wooden seat, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her coat to protect them from the harsh temperatures outside.

The park was so beautiful. The snow had taken a peaceful toll on the otherwise busy touristic attraction. That's why she had come here, right? For the closure she was hoping to find.

_'It might happen.'_ Blair's words ran through her head loudly, as if she was shouting them in her ear.

Her head fought back. _'Stop it, that's ridiculous'_, she thought to herself, but not even she believed that. Now that she was alone, she contemplated differently about things. Could Blair be right? She couldn't have been. But what if she was?

She wasn't ready. _They_ weren't ready. They only just fixed things between them. They were young, in school. He wanted to be a writer, not a father. But then she remembered how good he had been with Milo. The love and care and devotion he showed that little boy, even after he found out he wasn't his. The unconditional support he offered a baby that appeared into his life without any planning or notice proved to everyone what great things he was capable of. And she would learn. She could learn to be better, to be capable of the same things. She knew she wanted to be.

Blair was right. She had to find out the truth.

xoxo

Her leg shook. It bounced up and down, and it didn't seem to stop. Her hands were clasped together, and the anxiousness of the wait made her palms sweat. She stared at her fingers; the way they interlocked with each other was like a puzzle that she had to solve. But her mind couldn't wrap around anything else except the fact that she was in the waiting room of the Gynaecology Department of one of the most expensive hospitals in New York. And she was alone.

There were other couples there. Some nervous like her, some extremely happy. Would Dan and her be as happy? She remembered him saying to her once _'no matter what you decide, I want you to know that I'm here for you, because I...I love you'_. Did that still apply? She hoped so.

She couldn't sit anymore. She started walking, her pace quicker than normal, as she felt the other people's eyes on her. She didn't care. She needed something to do. She hated waiting. She walked up along a long corridor, her mind barely focussing on the fact there was a red line through the middle of the wall that continued until her eyes couldn't see anymore. Then she walked back down, the tips of her fingers touching the red paint. When she turned around to start the circuit again, her legs were stilled at the sight of a much too familiar face at the end of the corridor.

She didn't understand what he was doing here, but she didn't give herself enough time to wonder. As soon as he started walking towards her, she moved again, and they met at the middle, her arms around him and his hands in her hair. He rocked her from side to side, her trembling hands letting him know she was scared.

'You shouldn't be here alone. You should have called me. You know I would have been here for you.'

'I know, I was just...'

'Scared, I know. And that's okay. I am too. But we're here now, and no matter what you decide, I want you to know that I'm here for you, because...'

'You love me. I know,' she whispered, and pressed her lips against his. Then she hid her head in his chest again, allowing him to calm her.

'Miss van der Woodsen? We're ready for you.'

_**A/N:**__ I have to apologise yet again for such a late update, but my family and I moved house, and we could only reinstall our internet yesterday, due to the Christmas/New Year mayhem. I wrote this chapter a few weeks ago, yet only just managed to post it. Thank you for your patience. _

_Also, I would like your opinion on whether you would like Dan and Serena to have a child now or not, as I am really stuck as to what to do. There are so many FanFics where you do get to see them as parents, and I'm not sure if you would want another one that gives you the same thing. So review and tell me what you think. _

_Thanks xx _


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: Too Late to Apologize **

He closed the door of the bedroom behind him, allowing the darkness to take control of the room again; he didn't need the light to find her. He laid his head on the pillow, right next to hers, their foreheads almost touching. There was tension between them; a feeling Dan didn't like. He knew far too well what is used to lead to. Not this time, though.

He pressed the palms of his warm hands on her back, bringing her closer to him, slowly closing the gap between them. _'I'm sorry, Serena, Dan.'_ He remembered wanting to run away, take her with him, before the rest was said. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to not have to see her break, suffer, cry. He kissed her forehead, hoping to heal her. Pointless.

'I'm sorry,' he said, his eyes searching for hers. They met; hollow. Again.

'There's nothing to be sorry for.' The way she spoke, robotic, sent chills down his spine. She did the exact same thing every time something hurt her more than she would allow it to. She closed herself in, created a cold poker face and suffered in silence. He wanted to help her. He wanted to suffer for her. And she wouldn't let him.

'No, don't do that to yourself. It's okay to be hurting. It's okay to be upset.' Nothing changed for a minute. For the briefest of moments, it was as if she was frozen, and Dan wondered if she would remain that way. Affected, broken, irreparable. He understood, maybe better than anyone. He lost Milo, the boy he loved as he would his own son. He'd been there; he could help. Why wasn't she letting him?

And then her stiff body relaxed in his arms, her hands clasping over the small of his back. Her hair sprawled over his chest, and her cheek laid on his heart, as she leaned on him. She didn't ask for anything; she didn't need to. The fact the he was there while she cried was enough to begin to get her through this. They would eventually come out of this breathing.

'It's okay, darling. I'm right here. I understand, and I'm right here,' he said a few times, hoping the sound of his own voice would drown that of her sobs. He couldn't bear to hear it.

They'll try again. They will try again, and it will be successful, and she will be happy. He vowed he'll make her happy.

_**A/N:**__ Ok, I know it's really short, but I didn't want to add anything to this scene. It didn't feel right. I need to apologise to anyone who was hoping for a baby to come soon; I think the story will unfold better this way. Thank you for your support, and keep reading and reviewing! xx_


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Knight in Shining Armour**

He lit the last of the candles, and stood up to watch his masterpiece. Perfect. The specific smell coming from the kitchen let him know it was ready. He knew she would love it; seafood paella. It smelled of cold evenings, sea and reconnection. He made sure everything was set nicely on the table before glancing at the clock again. She was late; only by a few minutes, though. He wasn't worried. He sat on the sofa and waited.

Something wet and rough grazed against his cheek, forcing his eyes to open.

'Thank you, Sandy,' he muttered, pushing the Labrador off his lap. 'Where's Serena?' he asked the dog, watching her stare at him, confused. 'I guess _I'll_ find her, then.'

He searched for her, and he found her, and although he knew better, he couldn't help it. A much too familiar pain in his stomach confirmed the jealousy.

'Hey, honey. I didn't know you were home,' he spoke through stiff teeth, possessively kissing her cheek.

'You were asleep when we got home, so Ben thought it would be a good idea to cook for you before you woke up. He was just teaching me some of his tricks that he learnt as a sous chef at Cipriani's. He's a great cook! They wouldn't manage without him...'

'Yeah, congratulations on your new job, by the way,' Dan spoke, barely managing to contain the hurt from reaching his eyes. He knew she'd notice straight away. He thought about the food on their dining room table; it was probably cold, and he had to remove it before she'd find it.

'She's exaggerating. I get by.' He smiled back at her, and the sight seemed sickening. He hated himself for feeling that way; he knew there was no justification. Yet it was in his nature to judge, scrutinise, over analyse. That was his weakness, and as much as he tried to overcome it, sometimes he could just not be careful enough.

'I still don't know what he's cooked. Just please tell me it's not the beef roulade! Do you remember when you cooked that for me and I pretended to like it, because I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but ended up throwing everything up in front of you? I don't think I apologised enough for that...' She giggled, and wiggled herself out of Dan's embrace, leading Ben to the dining room.

He darted after her, but he was too late. She saw everything, and she just stood there, the smile on her face gone. He wished it hadn't. He wanted her to always be happy.

'Sorry, let me get that. It's probably cold anyways,' he muttered, and removed the bowl of paella, blowing out one of the candles that was threatening to burn the tablecloth. He took it to the kitchen and dropped it on a counter, his free hands then gripping the sides of it. He dropped his head. He felt stupid. He had no reason to be angry or upset. In some way, it was his fault too. If he hadn't fallen asleep, then he could have surprised her when she came home, even if she was a bit late.

He had no idea she was watching. She stood underneath the door frame, and as much as she wanted to, she couldn't move towards him. She felt bad; worse, she felt awful. She knew she was in the wrong, and wished desperately she could go back in time. Make it home in time. Timing was never her strong suit. She finally started walking, her feet not making any noise.

She placed her palm against his back. It startled him. 'Dan, I'm sorry...'

He faced her and smiled. Fake, forced, not the smile she knew far too well. 'What? You have no reason. I just dropped something on the counter and was looking for it. It's very small, you might not see it now. I'll look for it later. Let's go and eat. Ben's...waiting.'

She let him finish, and then wrapped her arms around him, kissing his neck as he embraced her.

'I'm sorry I was so late... You prepared my favourite meal to surprise me, and I just ruined it. I wanted to tell you, but I wanted to wait until it was final...'

'Serena, you don't have to answer to me. You were out, and came home a bit late. So what? It happens. Now let's go and eat; we've left our guest alone.'

He tried to walk around her, but she stopped him. She knotted her fingers around his, and watched his eyes close, as he sighed, defeated.

'Hey, stop. I _want_ to tell you... You know the job that Blair's mom offered me a few weeks ago, when she came back from Paris. I had an interview today. You're looking at the new senior editor of Cosmopolitan.'

His eyes opened in disbelief. 'What? Oh, my God, Serena, that is amazing!' he said, and picked her up in his arms. She laughed as he spun her around, and for a second, the happiness of the moment overpowered the anger of the fact that, yet again, he jumped to conclusions. He was damn good at it. And as much as he would have liked to kick himself for being a jerk one more time, he chose to celebrate with her and for her.

He set her down and kissed her, his lips hard against hers.

'Congratulations,' he whispered in her ear, before pressing his lips against her cheek and temple.

'Thank you. But I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just didn't want to make a big deal out of something I wasn't sure about, and end up being wrong. We both know what can happen, and I didn't want to disappoint you again.'

He watched her eyes drop, and her hand instinctively touch her flat stomach. Without a word, he picked it up in hers, and brought it to his lips, then smiled at her comfortingly. She met his gaze, and his smile caught on, her face lighting up.

xoxo

He cut the cake in four, setting the slice for their guest on Serena's 'special guests, but not dinner parties' china.

'Do you need any help?' It startled him; the voice was not only unexpected, but also male. He looked up, and his jaw tightened. He forced himself to relax; uncalled for, immature, unreasonable were among the words he mentally used to describe his behaviour. And yet, they weren't strong enough to calm him.

He was civil. 'No, thanks, I'm almost done here.'

'Look, Dan, I understand why you would be reticent towards me.'

'Well, you _are_ an English teacher with _years_ of experience. Of course you would understand what reticent means.' He looked at Ben as if he was his equal, yet he knew that wasn't true, and the old Dan would feel ashamed of himself for behaving this way. But the new Dan didn't care; he wanted to protect his relationship with Serena, and past taught him that you can never be too careful. He was continuously alert.

'I am not here to take her away from you.' The tone of his voice, wise, old, knowing, forced his eyes to lower. He just listened. 'I knew Serena a long time ago, and during that brief time, I've learnt to easily read her.' Yeah, Dan knew that feeling. But he wouldn't tell Ben that. He didn't dare.

'She loves you, Dan. There is no way she would want anyone else, and I really don't understand why you can't see that.'

'I know,' he muttered, slowly lifting his eyes.

'She's so happy with you,' Ben continued, smiling in the slightest. 'Happier than I have ever seen her; carefree, but in the good way. You bring out the best in her.'

Dan looked up. 'You two have a history. I can't risk losing her again; you have to understand why I would be...cautious.'

'I do. I just wanted to let you know that you can let your guard down around me. You have nothing to worry about.'

He watched Ben's arm extend in front of him, and he shook his hand, hoping his eyes would match his smile.

xoxo

He watched her as she sat in the middle of their bed, her fingers ruffling Sandy's smooth ears. He couldn't help but gaze over the delicate curve of her waist, defined perfectly by the tight top she wore. She was so beautiful... He couldn't believe she was his. After everything they had been through, the hurt, lies, Georgina, Vanessa, Nate... The fact that they withstood all of it had to mean they belonged. And he couldn't be happier about it.

He walked slowly behind her, and pressed his chest against her back, his knees resting on either side of hers.

'So what did I say about the dog, our bed and Egyptian cotton sheets?' he asked, and placed a soft kiss to the back of her neck. His arms wrapped around her waist, helping her lean into him.

She giggled. 'You know I couldn't resist those puppy eyes.' Her hand reached backwards, knotting in his thick black hair.

'Well, you're going to have to learn, because she needs to go,' he said suggestively, and kissed her shoulder, slowly moving up her neck. 'We have something to celebrate, don't we?'

She wriggled in his embrace, facing him, and she kissed him long and hard, her arms locking around his neck, her hands resting on her elbows, something she always did. He rested his palms on her hips, and his thumbs slipped underneath her top, caressing the soft skin there.

She pushed him gently into the mattress, her knees pressed against the sides of his thighs, but their kiss didn't break. He dropped a hand to her calf, slowly moving its way back up, following the contour of her thigh. She pulled at the end of his T-Shirt, and helped him wriggle out of it. They took a second to just smile at the other; a warm, genuine smile. A smile to say 'I love you' when words couldn't be uttered. Then, while holding a palm against his beating heart, she united their mouths once again, this time in a slow, deep kiss.

xoxo

Although they were only covered in a thin sheet, it was much too hot. Their breaths slowed, yet the hand she kept on his chest let her know his heart was still fluttering. So was hers. His fingers stroked her waist and stomach, aimlessly, lightly, without even having to think about it. It was natural. Their legs lay tangled in the same way as they always did.

'So explain to me, how come you steal some of my writing tips and get a job at a top magazine, while I struggle to get published in the NYU Weekly?'

She laughed. 'Is there such a thing as NYU Weekly?'

He smiled. 'Think of it as a general concept.'

'Ok, then you can think of it as me borrowing some of your genius.'

He kissed her forehead, allowing his nose to skim over it. 'Flattery will get you nowhere.' They laughed together, and Dan thought about how nice it was to hear hers so often. He remembered moments when he wished he could listen to her childish laughter, moment when he would despair over the fact that she was so broken, she couldn't even smile. The thing he was most grateful about was that she was happy again, smiling, and laughing, and sharing it with him. That was the most important; it was with him.

'I'm so proud of you.'

'I couldn't have done it without you.' She didn't need to explain any further. It wasn't just the writing inspiration that he had offered her. It was his support, and his heart, and his teenage years that he had given her, his love that helped her become who she wanted to be. Her knight in shining armour that pulled her from the dark side. Her better half, in every sense.

_**A/N:**__ Here we go, another chapter. Thanks for reading, and please consider reviewing. Thank you to my regular readers; you're what keeps me writing. MASSIVE THANKS! xx_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen: Vacation **

He made his way through the elegant crowd, elbowing people he should have but didn't know. The grass was dry, and it was hot and sunny, yet she shone brighter than the sun. At least in his eyes.

A beautiful June afternoon. Perfect weather, perfect moment, perfect girl. It seemed like his life was this way; perfect. And as selfish as it sounded, he wouldn't have traded it for anything.

She has her back to him, as she talks to the Dean at Columbia, and he finds it hard to focus on one aspect of her; her beautiful blonde hair, cascading softly down her back, the white flower above her ear, intact from where he secured it. The elegant bodice of her dress, the short, yet tasteful, nature of its skirt. The sophisticated way she positioned her feet, legs crossed, knees touching, heels steady as rocks. It's a lot to take in, and after years of trying, he still can't observe it all at the same time. She still enchants him as she did yesterday, last year, the first time he laid eyes on her. And that was one of the things he loved most about her.

_I haven't been able to get you out of my head all summer._

This summer he didn't have to even try. And he wasn't sure if she realised how happy that made him.

Her face lit up as soon as she saw him. She walked towards him, a smile soft on her face, crooked on his. He took her hand in his, kissed it, and knotted their fingers together, leading her to the dance floor. He had never been a good dancer. In fact, he could swear that the doctors diagnosed two left feet when he was born. But he didn't care. Because _she_ loved that about him.

He felt the need to say something. _Compliment her. _That was harder than it should have been; he couldn't put it in one word. Cliché; true. _Beautiful – not enough. Ravishing – inappropriate; her mother is here somewhere. With my father. Perfect – too common._

He decided on, 'I love you.'

'I know.'

'You look...' He still couldn't finish, and the look on his face as he tried to think harder made her laugh, her fingers playing with the hair at the back of his neck.

'Thank you. You clean up nicely, too.'

'What, this? Nah, just threw this on ten minutes before the ceremony.' He wished that was true.

She laughed again, and leaned in, smiling against his lips, the same way she had done many times in their past. A brief moment.

A perfect moment. Inspired by the past.

'Let's get out of here. You want to get out of here?'

She smiled. _Yes. _In her mind, it all happens again. They meet on the beach, and she mends herself. She breathes again. They embrace, and kiss, and lie by the fire. It's not rushed, or crazy, and it definitely doesn't feel wrong. In fact, it's right, and tender, and sweet, and enough to make up for all the nights when she'd dream his arms were around her.

_Yes._ 'I'd love to... But I can't just leave our graduation party. Blair would be so mad at me...'

'Blair understands more than you think she does,' he spoke, and led her by her hand, not unwillingly at all, to the town car waiting for them outside.

xoxo

That was the moment he was waiting for.

'So, I was thinking, what are our plans for the summer? Gin with CeCe, Scotch with Chuck and waffles with our parents sounds good, right?'

'You better be joking about that one.'

'Then how about Hampstead?' he said, taking out a set of a much too familiar set of keys from his coat pocket.

'Oh, my God, Dan.' She didn't know what to say. She actually had no idea. But this time, it was a good feeling. She didn't need to.

He pulled her closer to him, the palms of his hands pressed against her back. He kissed her cheek, softly, full of the love he couldn't express to her in words.

'Are you ready to finally go on our vacation together?' he whispered in her ear, before she held his head between her hands and brought their lips together again.

xoxo

_S, suitcases are in the boot. I couldn't have let you go on holiday without a decent wardrobe. Please note I have replaced French lingerie with thick novels (get Dan to carry it; it's heavy). Read them! Have fun, and don't get dysentery or food poisoning. (Why are you going to that village again, anyways?) If you do, however, you'll only have your Brooklyn lover and his tight wallet to blame. Don't worry; I'll take you to Paris when you get back. Retail therapy will be good for you. Love you always, B. _

_**A/N:**__ Here we are! My last chapter, I think. I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of you for the support you have shown me; I don't think I could have done it otherwise. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope you enjoy this, and PLEASE REVIEW! xx_


	16. Epilogue

_**A/N:**__ This is for October8th2005, as well as all of my other readers (Em, Beez, lots4love, d4s, cj)._

The setting sun still felt like it was burning, and the smell of the sea had infiltrated their skin. She sat on the beach towel, her long legs stretching out from underneath her dress and her arms extended behind her, supporting her. Dan couldn't quite decide what she had fixed her eyes on; she seemed to look at something and at nothing. And from where he was standing, she was as beautiful as she had always been.

He sat beside her, slowly touching his lips to her cheek once they were at the same level. She turned her head to look at him, and smiled gently when she saw him do the same.

'What are you thinking about?' he asked, covering her hand with one of his.

'You,' she said, and looked at him again, grinning at how cheesy it sounded. 'And me,' she finished, dropping her gaze by the minuscule difference needed to avoid looking straight at him. And through him.

'And...' he encouraged, his fingers caressing the back of her hand.

'And I'm not sure if I want to know what the future holds for us yet or not. I mean...where do we go from here?'

'Where is this coming from?' He tried to keep his voice calm and gentle, but not caring if he didn't manage. Why did it feel like he was treading on thin ice?

'I'm just scared that, once we go back home tomorrow, I'll be at work all day, and the New York Times will refuse to let you come home and we'll never see each other. And you'll have a pretty secretary and a hot boss and, after a while, you won't even _want_ to come home to a tired me.' She added the last part with a soft smile, hoping to lighten the heavy tension she felt hovering over them.

Relief allowed him to laugh, and he placed his hands on her hips, encouraging her to move on his lap.

'I knew I shouldn't have let you spend so much time in the sun. It affected you quite a bit, didn't it?' One of his hands rested on her thigh, his thumb caressing the soft surface of it, while the other cupped her cheek, feeling it tense as she giggled.

'Serena, everything else in my life comes second. _You_ are my main priority, more important than my new job, or my supposedly hot boss.' She laughed again, gently placing her hand on his cheek, her forehead leaning on his. 'The end of this vacation is only the beginning of our lives together. And you shouldn't be scared of that, because as long as we're together, we're more powerful than anything.'

'Do you realise how cheesy what you just said is?' Her lips were stretched in a beautiful smile just inches away from his.

'Oh, I realise,' he said, and closed the distance between their mouths.

-xoxo-

As soon as their plane landed at JFK, Serena knew she left a part of her, a part of them, behind between crumpled sheets, hot sand and gentle waves. What scared her the most was the fact that she would never get it back; she would always miss the element of the freedom and youth of a young adult relationship. Setting foot in New York meant that she was officially an adult, required to present to work the following day wearing a much too expensive suit and six-inch Louboutins. It seemed that nowhere in her new life was a place for midnight walks in Central Park, or anymore 'vacations', or even sea food paella on the terrace. Mornings wasted in bed replaced by early coffees in the office, midnight crises instead of falling asleep in his arms in front of a really outdated movie.

With every metre they advanced towards the Upper East Side, she wanted to shed another tear. But she didn't want to worry him; the man whose hand was intertwined with hers, and whose shoulder she rested her head on.

It was almost midnight when they arrived at their apartment, and Dan gave their bags to the doorman, then came to collect her from the car.

'Do you feel like going for a walk, or are you too tired?' he asked, smiling, as he already knew the answer.

-xoxo-

The park was as beautiful as always, and, as they walked, her arm around his waist and his around her shoulders, just as eons ago, she had a strange feeling in her heart that she was leaving it behind; ridiculous for someone not only living in Manhattan, but also a few metres away from its gates.

She enjoyed the faded darkness of the park, the occasional flickers of light from the streetlamps reminding her too much of a city she was trying to forget.

They walked down the same path as always, eventually arriving at their bench, the most random bench in a park filled with them, but which meant a bit too much to both of them. He stopped there, and turned to face her, taking both her hands in his. She saw him look at her, and turned her head to one side, smiling gently. So he just lifted one of his hands and turned it her gaze back to his.

'I hate it when you do that,' he explained.

'So, you know how we talked about our future, and whatever it holds for us here, in New York. Well, I am of the opinion, and this can just be me, by the way, that we can make our future together. That way we don't have to guess.' Serena noticed his eyebrows bend together, slightly, as he dropped one of her hands and searched in the pocket of his jeans.

'This is my promise to you, Serena, that you will never have to fear being alone. That you will never have to worry about there not being an us, or about anything else that you were yesterday. I want this to be me giving you the security you need or want. This is my promise to you that I will love you forever. Just like I'm meant to.'

One of her hands impulsively covered her mouth once she saw him get down on one knee. Her eyes rested on the delicate ring, and she couldn't stop a stubborn tear from escaping the corner of her eye.

'Serena. Will you marry me?'

He watched so many emotions flow through her, every fresh tear counting for one. He waited patiently, hoping she would finally utter the answer he was hoping for. He didn't even think about what would happen otherwise.

She finally spoke. An unorthodox answer.

'What about our parents?' she said, moving her arms around her, nervously, clearly not knowing what to do with them.

As weird as it sounded, he knew that question might have been asked that night. And at that moment.

'What about them?' he asked. She let out a weak laugh and knelt in front of him, placing her hands either side of his face. She felt like, at that moment, she forgot how to utter those three letters she wanted to say. So she kissed him, water sprawling from her cheek onto his.

Once they pulled away, he took her left hand into his, and gently placed the ring on her finger. He lifted it to his lips, and kissed it, only to pull her closer to him afterwards and unite their mouths again. They moulded perfectly against each other, and her arms locked around his neck once she felt his tongue slip gently against hers.

Slowly, he felt her relax against him, and, later, he took a moment to touch his lips tenderly to her temple, once, twice, a third time.

Their foreheads joined, and he saw that her eyes dried, yet her smile was still strong on her perfect face.

'So is this your idea of a 'yes'? Because otherwise I might need that ring back,' he joked, and kissed her cheek.

She laughed in the way that four-year-old way that he loved the most, and hid her head his shoulder, only after whispering a soft 'yes' in his ear.

-xoxo-

Her office was spacious, and her assistant efficient, and she expected a lot more to do for the first day. But she only browsed through old issues of Cosmopolitan, gently smiling when she would see herself on some of the pages.

The phone on her desk rang, and as soon as she heard his voice, her eyes lit up.

'So your secretary sounds professional,' he said.

'Yeah, she actually is. Have you met your boss yet?' she asked, impatient to hear the reply to that.

'Of course I have. Got assigned my first piece.'

Her eyes rolled, and her fingers started tapping the desk in front of her. 'Okay, so on a scale of one to ten, what would you rate her? And remember we're engaged, so you can't lie to me.'

She heard him laugh on the end of the line. 'Ooh, I would say a definite seven or eight.' An unexplained chill washed through her. 'There's just one problem. Married men are really not my type.'

She laughed loudly with him, her fingers stilling instantly. 'You won't meet him, though. I kind of have a problem with that,' he clarified, and she smiled.

She wouldn't have wanted to anyway.

'So you said you got assigned your first piece today. Can you tell me what it is, or will I have to wait a week to find out?'

'It's the beautiful story of a couple belonging to different worlds, who, after going through so much, got engaged one night in Central Park. It's the story of the happiest man in the world. I think I can relate to that.'

She basically heard him smile through the phone.

Just as she was. 'Dan?'

'Yeah,' he encouraged.

'I love you.'

He did too.

_**A/N:**__ I missed writing for this story, so I took a bit of time to (hopefully) surprise you with an epilogue. I hope you guys like it, and if you do, PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks for your support :) Christina xxx_


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